


Different Choices

by 1000lux



Category: Oz (TV)
Genre: AU: years before oz, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Chris being his usual self, Chris is still an asshole, Happy Ending, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Rehab, Toby being a lawyer, What Could Have Been, foreshadowing or not?, how exactly did Toby get to where we meet him at OZ, meet everyone while they're still young and innocent?, quotes from the show, references to the show, some things always stay the same, they meet when they're young, twenty-something mains
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-14 02:44:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10527192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1000lux/pseuds/1000lux
Summary: Toby and Chris meet years before both their lives have turned to shit.Chris is already deep in conning. And Toby's already starting to develop the problems he'll have later.But they still have a chance. Even though, some things never change.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been a particular pet project of mine since the year 2013, together with three other OZ fanfictions I've never posted that I always used as comfort writing when I felt bad. It's actually one of the first stories with which I really started writing. I originally intended to never post these stories, so I can always continue writing on them. But now four years later I actually feel I'm at a point where I want to post this.
> 
> This story is particularly dear to my heart and I always had tremendous fun writing on it and reading it myself, and I hope some of you will like it as well.
> 
> This story features one of my actual OTPs Ryan/Dino.^^ I think it's actually the first story with them I've posted, even though I have about a dozen of WIPs with them on my PC. xD
> 
> Switches in time are fully intentional.

*****************************  
Chapter 1. Boy meets mark  
*****************************

"You should get contacts. With those glasses you look like a douche."  
How had he gotten himself into this, Toby wondered while he stared at his client.  
He wondered not the first time in the last hour, if working as an assigned cousel to get  
experience, had been such a good idea.  
"Thanks for the input, but I'm not here to talk about my looks." He tried to look professional,  
shuffling around some papers.  
"You a fag?" the man in the white wife-beater who was sprawled across a metal folding-chair, drawled.  
Toby's mouth literally dropped open. He felt himself blush. He adjusted his glasses and cleared  
his throat.  
"No, I'm not." he answered indignantly, "I have a girlfriend." he couldn't help adding, though he  
new it sounded pathetic, like he had to justify himself.  
"Woah, keep it cool, Harvard boy, just asking. So, is she hot?"  
"Who?"  
"Your girlfriend."  
"She's very nice."  
"Wow, that sounds just smashing." his client answered with one eyebrow raised, sounding  
incredibly bored. Toby felt like he'd just made a complete fool of himself, again. There he was  
25, just finished law school, good-looking (he didn't look like a douche, dammit), rich. And yet  
a con, of the same age, who'd only managed to get himself into prison for the second time,  
wasn't rich and, okay, he was pretty good-looking, but that was not the point, no matter how  
good-looking, had managed to get him completely off kilter, within, he looked at his watch,  
exactly 37 minutes.  
"Checking your rolex' still there?" The statement was delivered with a cheeky grin.  
He wasn't going to resign. He was going to finish this case. And dammit, he would win. No  
matter how offensive and unsettling this guy was. He had known what he was getting himself  
into. His parents had warned him. Even more reason to get through with this, successfully. He  
had read the file. A charming sociopath, extremely cunning and adept at manipulation, would  
flirt with anyone, woman, man, whatever.  
But he wouldn't back down to Chris Keller. He would finish this case and get his ass out of jail.  
Then no one would say that he was dependant on his father's lawfirm, that he was nothing without  
his money. He put a stern look on.  
"Okay, Mr. Keller, my time is precious. If you're finished fooling around, would you mind returning  
your attention to your case."  
"Whatever you say, boss-man." Keller said grinning at him like Toby was an especially entertaining  
animal performing a trick.  
"I don't think there's a chance for you getting out on bail, considering you have no social ties."  
"Yeah, guessed so. Not my first time."  
"I know. So I understand you had an affair with the claimant's wife and robbed his safe. Including  
8000 Dollar, a pearl collier and a gold bar," he checked his file again, "which were never found in  
your possession. And you are linked to the crime by the wife's testimony, the key to her house that  
was found in your flat and your fingerprints on the safe." He looked up again.  
"Yeah, that should be about it."  
Did this guy ever stop grinning? Why was he in such a fucking good mood? Toby wondered why he himself  
wasn't happier more often. After all he had every reason to be happy. His life was perfect. Great  
family, great girlfriend, great perspective for the future. And nevertheless this con looked more chilled  
than he had felt in years. Maybe it was the picking on self-conscious lawyers.  
"I think we have a good chance to get this case dismissed, unless they find the goods."  
"They won't." Keller looked pretty self-assured.  
Maybe he should ask him how he did it.  
"You think I'm pretty pathetic, right?" Oh God. He didn't just say this aloud?! Keller gave him a  
surprised look. At least he'd finally done something he didn't expect. Well, one couldn't blame  
him. Who would expect that someone was able to embarass himself to such an extent.  
"Nah, you're just a little geeky, you know. Don't worry, it's kinda cute."  
Toby dropped his face into his palms, letting out a groan.  
"Hey, that was a compliment."  
"Uh-huh." Alright, time to gather his papers and the remnants of his dignity. "I think that's  
everything for today. I'll see you tomorrow to get you ready for the first hearing."  
"Alright, Toby, looking forward to it." Keller waved him goodbye cheerfully. Toby just fled the  
room, not even bothering to reprimand him about using his first name.

**********************************

They sit at dinner. His father, his mum, Angus and Genevieve. The dinner table is big. Not ancient  
and traditional, but custom-made and polished, fitting the designer kitchen his mother got for her  
birthday. The table is made to look old in the way big, imposing funiture looks like, but it's been  
crafted just a few months ago.  
Toby is nursing his second Whiskey. The good thing about being grown up is that he can now drink at  
the table instead of sneakily in his room, without anyone bothering him.  
"Genevieve, dear, would you hand me the potatoes?" His mom smiles across the table.  
"Of course, here you go."  
His girlfriend hands the bowl over to his mother.  
"Me and your mother have been looking for houses this afternoon, Toby." Genevieve informs him.  
"That's right, Genevieve and I have found some lovely ones. With schools and day care just around the  
corner. Not too far away from us, too."  
"That's nice."  
"You have to tell me what you think of them later."  
"By the way, Tobias, I've talked to a colleague of mine and he has a very promising position for you."  
"I am satisfied with working as an assigned counsel, right now. Thanks, dad."  
"But on the long shot that's nothing. You want to be able to offer Genevieve something, don't you?" He  
winks at him. "Can't live off your parents forever."  
"Dad, I'm living off my own money."  
"Sure, but what's with your salary if you want to provide for a family. The house, the cars, education.  
All this isn't for free."  
"Well, I still have a few years until I have to think about children."  
"Oh, Toby, these things go faster than you think." His mother smiles. "Just wait until you and Genevieve  
are married."  
"How's university, Angus?"  
"The usual."  
"Don't be modest. Your brother is starting an internship at Benkeley & Sons next month."  
"That's great, Angus!"  
Toby finally starts to feel the familiar buzz of the alcohol.  
"Why don't you show me the houses now, Gene?"

He's been blessed. He has everything he could wish for. He's so happy with Gene. Moving in together will  
be great. He can't wait. She's the one for him.

**********************************

"So your girlfriend, what's her name?" Keller was slouching in his chair, head resting on his  
crossed arms on the table.  
"Good morning to you too, Keller." Toby sat down brushing the raindrops out of his hair.  
"Sucks driving a cabrio in the rain, huh?"  
Toby shot him an angry glance. "I don't drive a cabrio. I forgot my umbrella. It rained hard  
enough that I got soaked just from walking here from the parking lot."  
"Yeah, yeah. Don't get all nasty, tough guy. I'm just trying to make friendly conversation."  
Keller leaned back in his chair, stretching.  
Wow, this guy sure worked out. Well, he had enough time for that in jail, he thought spitefully.  
It wasn't like Toby was all skinny, he worked out too, though Keller probably would have laughed  
at the posh gym Toby went to. But he would never look like a big he-man like Keller. Toby was ripped  
out of his line of thought.  
"So what's her name?"  
"Who's name?" Toby asked confused.  
"Your mother's."  
Toby shot him a blank look.  
"No, your girlfriend's, man."  
"Oh. Genevieve." he told him before he'd even thought about that it was absolutely none of his  
business.  
"Hm, sounds nice."  
"Yeah, I'm probably going to marry her."  
"You sound more than thrilled by the prospect." Keller said, again giving him the raised-eyebrow-look.  
"No, I'm looking forward to it. I mean it's expected in my circles."  
"What good does you all the money, if you can't even make your own decisions, or get a top  
on your cabrio." Keller finished with a grin.  
Toby needed some time to stop laughing. Then he spoke in a more somber tone.  
"You can't guess how tough it is sometimes. Everyone expects something of you. With all that  
money, you're expected to live up to it. But why am I telling you this anyway?"  
"Because I don't expect anything from you. Well, except getting me out of jail."  
"I think that I can manage that." Toby smiled.

***********************************

Chris hadn't expected Toby to be so cool in court. He imagined him to be the same blushing,  
self-conscious mess he was around him.  
But there he was standing there in his probably tailor-made suit taking any sympathy or credibility  
the D.A. had had.  
Toby moved around the room like he owned it. Chris knew the posture very well, it was the way  
he moved around himself.  
Who would have guessed. Under different circumstances this wimpy kid would maybe have made  
a pretty good con. Their jobs were pretty much the same. Make people abandon their better judgement  
and buy what you are telling them against all reason and indications to the opposite. And hell they  
both knew how to play that game. No shame. No blush. No scruple. And getting a real kick out of it.  
Toby was questioning the cheating wife just now. He managed to seem nice and caring and at the  
same time make both the jury and the interrogated herself doubt the accuracy of her words.

Day one at court had definitely ended in their favor. The claimant was fuming and looked like he  
was short of throtteling Toby.  
"Good job, lawyer." Chris was smiling brightly at Toby. And Toby couldn't help thinking that he looked  
absolutely stunning that way. He really should stop comparing himself to others, just because he  
couldn't make someone forget what he was going to say with just one smile. At least he could  
make people have reasonable doubt.  
"I told you I'm good."  
"I'm sure you are." Chris let his hand trail lightly through Toby's hair to his neck. It could have  
been just been to brush a leaf or something out of his hair. Nevertheless it gave Toby goose-bumps.

***********************************

"If you get me out of here, we have to go party together. So you stop being that high-strung all the  
time."  
"I'm not high-strung, I'm serious. Which you should try too, for a change. It sure would do you some  
good with the Jury."  
"I'm always charming." Chris said self-assured, leaning back as if to present himself better.  
"Yeah, I'm sure you're charming their pants off."  
"It's working with you so far, isn't it?"  
"If you're continuing like this, I'm going to leave."  
"Alright, killjoy."

***********************************

Life feels stuffy. Toby isn't sure if it's just him or if everyone is feeling like this. His life  
is so completely lacking in uniqueness.

He sips his latte with double espresso shot, while he watches the people walking past him. People  
with lovers at their arms, people hurrying to work, laughing teenagers on their way to school.  
Is everyone's life that free of choices? Are we defined by our social standing? By our parents?  
First we do what our parents expect from us, then we do what society expects from us. The right  
education. The appropriate friends. The matching lovers. The fitting dreams.  
When he looks at the men in jail he thinks it's the same for everyone. They too, do what society  
expects from them. Starting with a bad neighborhood or unemployed parents, they enter the system at  
latest when they enter school. Under the scrutinizing gaze of a teacher, who's already given up on  
them, they do what they are supposed to do, they fail.

***********************************

He watched Keller closely. He could see it. The predator. The endless charm, never lost for even a  
second. The flash of white teeth. Body language speaking of absolute self-confidence. Everything  
about him, screamed of the guilty pleasure one wanted to have a taste of.  
Suddenly Keller grabbed him by the neck and pulled him closer. Toby felt Keller's lips on his.  
Toby had rather expected a headbutt.  
When he felt Keller's tongue, though, he finally got out of his stupor and pushed him away.  
"What the fuck!!" He was blushing viciously.  
"Oh, don't act like this, after all your swooning over me."  
"My WHAT?!"  
"Oh come on, don't give me that outraged innocence, big blue eyes, you've been giving me the once over  
alright." Keller drawled, leaning back in his chair, arms crossed, like he was the fucking king of the  
universe.  
"You!...I'm not gay!"  
Toby had by now brought some distance between them, eyes darting towards the door like he was going to  
bolt any second.  
Chris watched him closely, despite his rightiously angry demeanor he seemed to prefer flight over fight.  
"Okay.", Keller held his hands up, "My bad."  
Toby brushed back his hair, clearing his throat, hoping that his face didn't look all red any longer.  
"It's alright, if you're not going to repeat it."  
"Unless, you want me to."  
That man apparently never lost his swagger.  
"I'm sure I won't."  
Chris just gave him a pitiying look. One of these days Toby would make him look pathetic and then he would  
laugh at Keller.  
Yeah, right.

************************************

"I don't know what you want, Toby!" Gene threw her hands up in exasperation.  
"I don't know either!"  
"I don't understand you. If this isn't what you want, why don't you just tell me so?"  
"It is what I want. I'm sorry."

************************************

"You think your so damn cool. But you're just like me, an overgrown child, that doesn't know where to fit  
in life. And everything you say to me is just a feeble attempt to make me feel worse than you do."  
"Where did that come from?" Chris looked at him in surprise.

************************************

"I got you out on bail. So far so good."  
"Whoohoo!"  
Chris hugged him, lifting his feet of the floor.  
"Go out with me."  
"What?!" Toby had barely recuperated from the hug, having been afraid it would be a kiss again.  
"Not like a date. Just partying. Come on. You want it. You know you do. With me you can feel beautiful.  
You can feel careless. You can feel free."  
"I've been clubbing before, you know."  
Chris just grinned, radiating his own amazingness.  
"You've never been with me."

************************************

Toby found himself in a club he would have never gone to with his regular friends. Dancing with the  
hottest guy in the club.  
Chris smiled at him, smuggly, as if saying 'told you you'd have a good time'.  
Toby thought he could have a much better time still. This time it's him who kissed Chris.

************************************

"Gene, we need to talk."  
Gene furrowed her brows, putting away the bridal magazines she'd been reading.  
"Sure, what is it?"  
Toby looked at her immaculate pose. Perfectly manicured fingers. Earrings matching her golden watch. Clothing  
decent, not too flashy.  
He could imagine their future, he could see the two of them together some years later, with beautiful children.  
She would be a wonderful mother, she would be a great host at parties. He would have taken a responsible job in  
his father's lawfirm by then. He could see them smiling on a family portrait. Maybe they'd even have a dog.  
"Gene, I think we should end our relationship."  
"What?!" She lost her poise only for a second. "Is it because of the wedding? If it's too soon for you we can  
postpone it a few months."  
"It's not the wedding. Not just. I think we want different things from life."  
"Of course we do! We're different persons, that's what compromisses are for."  
"I don't think I love you."  
Genevieve gasped, looking at him more indignated than hurt.  
"We are engaged you realize!"  
"I know this is probably a bad time. But I think it's better I tell you now, instead of after the wedding."  
"And when did you decide to end our relationship?!"  
"I've done a lot of thinking over the past months. I'm genuinely sorry."  
"This...You don't mean this! We'll discuss this with your parents. We'll figure it out."  
"We're not discussing this with my parents! I'm not a child! I made a decision!"  
"No, Toby, you're..."  
"I kissed a man."

************************************

It felt awkward, meeting again. Really awkward. Toby picked Chris up, somewhere in town and he wasn't even  
sure why they ended up at his place. It was the first time they were working on the case with Chris out of  
jail. The first time they were conducting this kind of meeting outside of jail.  
Toby was tense, all through the drive, the whole way up to his flat, erratically fumbling with his keys.  
Chris just walked in as if he owned the place, not even asking if he should take his shoes off, which Toby  
would have preferred.  
Chris clicked his tongue appreciatively, "Just as fancy-schmancy as I imagined it to be."  
"...Thanks– I guess." This was going to be embarassing. If Chris didn't mention it, Toby wouldn't be stupid  
enough to refer to the kiss in any way.  
Toby got the case files out with stoic composure, before taking a seat on the couch with the appropriate distance  
to where Chris was sprawled out.  
Chris watched him with mild interest, before he sat up seamlessly, closing the distance and kissed him.  
All he said to Toby's shocked-surprised expression was, "What did you think?"

************************************

They weren't together. It would have been stupid to believe anything like that, Toby knew that. They were just  
two guys having a good time. With one of the two guys trying to prevent the other from going to jail.  
Why Chris ended up having a key to his flat, Toby wasn't sure. It was just more convenient, he told himself, they  
were meeting there all the time anyway. Because of the case.  
Toby heard a snort from the bed.  
"What?!"  
"You're just making your I'm-trying-to-explain-what's-happening-around-me-face." Chris drawled, face half buried  
in a pillow.  
"Am I interrupting your hard-earned rest, your majesty?" Toby asked, slightly miffed by so much insight.  
"Oh no, keep going. You look droll."  
"What are you even resting from? It's not like you work." Toby went on straightening his tie, "What do you do, actually,  
when you're not swindling people out of their money?"  
No answer from Chris, except a lazy smile, eying him sympathetically.  
"Don't tell me you do this on a day-to-day basis!"  
"No problem, I'm also a pretty good liar."  
This was the moment where Toby realized that this wasn't the real life. That this was the moment to get out as long  
as he still could, shuddering, later when he was back in appropriate company, at the thought of what he'd gotten  
involved with.

He tried.

He really did.

************************************

"You're free to go Mr. Keller."

************************************

He never thought he'd hear from Chris ever again. He'd done his part. There was nothing Chris could  
want from him any longer.

They arrived at Toby's place, lips crashing together before they'd even closed the door.  
"I love you, Chris."  
"I love you too, Toby."  
That's all he needed to know. Who would have thought something like this would come out of this case?

************************************  
Chapter 2. Fuck  
************************************

When he got home from work, Chris was gone, and with him everything of value that had been in his flat.  
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid, stupid Toby. Chris must have been laughing all the way out.  
How could he have believed him? He'd read his goddamn file. Had he really thought, he had seen something  
in him? Something he liked, in sweet, boring Toby?  
No he'd only seen a mark, someone to use and rip off. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.  
And he'd probably known Toby wouldn't file charges. It was just too embarrassing. What should he tell the  
police?  
'I thought a con was in love with me and he stole all my stuff. By the way, I'm a lawyer. I was representing  
him in the trial about him ripping off his ex.'  
Not very likely.  
But damn. Toby punched the wall. That would be the last time someone took advantage of sweet, naive Toby.  
Fuck nice. Fuck polite. Fuck manners.

************************************

"Honey. Don't you want to come home for the weekend?" His mother asked in that thin, whining  
voice she always used to push him to do something.  
"No mom. I'm busy." He answered, trying to keep the edge out of his voice.  
"But honey, Genevieve is coming. Maybe you can get back together. You said this other thing  
is over."  
"No mom. I won't get back together with Genevieve. I never loved her. And I sure as hell don't  
want to marry her." He paused. "Oh and by the way, I think I'm gay."  
"What? What do you mean 'gay'?"  
"Dick! I like dick!" With that he hung up. For a moment he felt bad that he'd let out his anger on  
his mother, but then he remembered how his parents had always bullied him into doing what was  
expected, with this whole guilt trip shit.  
He took a deep breath.  
Time to get laid.  
Maybe it was the wrong way, to go clubbing all night and fuck with random guys, to cope with  
having been fucked over and dumped and suddenly realising that he liked guys. But he used  
protection, so whatever.  
The first person who was qualified to tell him that his behaviour was the wrong solution, would  
be someone who'd experienced the same shit he had.  
Everyone else didn't know what the hell they were talking about.  
After getting fucked, getting fucked seemed appropriate.

************

They take his car. He doesn't stay the night, but leaves afterwards. When he gets out of whatever-  
his-name-was' place, he realizes that it's not exactly the best neighborhood.  
Three thugs are trying to break into his car.  
"Hey! What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" He yells at them, "Get the fuck away!" He makes for  
them, with anger boiling up inside him. Before he gets to them, they make a run for it.  
He feels righteously angry for a moment longer, before it hits him that he nearly started a fight with  
some street thugs. Then it hits him that he actually kinda did win.  
He gets into his car and drives away before he gets any more stupid ideas.

************

The guy was younger than him, maybe twenty. Cute was probably the best way to describe  
him, with his long blond hair. They'd make a cute couple, Toby laughed to himself humorlessly.  
Nevertheless he let the guy buy him a drink.  
Then he went home with him, because why the fuck not?

*************

He woke up at the other's place, staring at the ceiling, still feeling a little high. Fuck. He needed  
some fresh air and painkillers... or maybe a beer.

"So, will I see you again?" the guy asked sheepishly, which was quite a contrast to his looks and  
what Toby'd seen of his body last night.  
"We'll see." Toby answered, way cooler than his usual demeanor. There you go, Chris Fucking Keller!  
You're not the only one who can have a good time.

**************

The next night he found himself at his place again, being a lot more social and a lot less drunk, after they'd  
had something that could be considered in terms of dating.  
"Can I get you something, Toby?"  
"Just water, thanks."  
He lived with his brother he'd said. They must be pretty close then, otherwise why would they live together?  
They were both working, so money shouldn't be the issue. Their flat wasn't in the best neighborhood anyway, though  
it was pretty big in itself.  
Suddenly Toby heard yelling from the hallway. Doors were slamming. It sounded like someone was throwing things.  
Toby carefully took a peek out the door. A blackhaired guy was standing in the hallway, shouting, while a brownhaired  
guy was in the doorframe throwing stuff out of the room. He thought he saw a toothbrush flying through the air.  
"You wanna leave?! Fucking leave! Here's your shit!" The brownhaired guy yelled.  
"You know what? Keep all this! The sooner I'm out of here, the better!" The blackhaired guy yelled back. "Stronzo!  
Figlio di puttana! Vaffanculo!"  
"Oh yeah, spagetthi?! Well, I don't have room for your shit! I need the space for my new dates!"  
Toby retreated back to the room, when the blackhaired guy pulled out a gun.  
Some moments later silence settled over the flat. Toby wondered if it was because they'd killed each other.  
"Hey Toby, sorry for the wait. Here's your drink."  
"Cyril, there was some kind of fight in the hallway. I think I saw a gun."  
His 'date' didn't even blink.  
"Oh, yeah. That was Ryan. He and his boyfriend broke up again. Don't worry." He made a dismissive gesture. "They'll  
be back together by tomorrow. If it even takes that long."  
Toby didn't dwell on the fact that Cyril hadn't deemed it necessary to comment on the gun thing. And despite his better  
judgement he decided to stay the night. His life had been boring, safe and responsible for long enough.

He woke up in the morning and got up to go to the bathroom. When he opened the door he was presented by the picture  
of Ryan and said (about five hours ago ex-)boyfriend making out in the shower. Toby closed the door immediately, but  
he thought he'd heard words like "baby" and "honey". At least no one seemed to have a gun this time.

The situation wasn't getting any less awkward by the four of them having breakfast together the very same morning.  
"Hi, I'm Dino." By-now-safe-to-say-boyfriend-again smiled at him and offered his hand.  
"Hi, I'm Toby."  
Ryan waved at him too. "We know each other already, but I think you were too stoned the other night to remember."  
They all ate in companiable silence, with Ryan and Dino basically eating of each other's plate, until Dino's phone rang.  
"Pronto! Ah, Chucky... Hmm... That fucker!... Nah, just kill him. He had the chance to pay. I won't let this little bitch  
make a fool of me... Si... Ci vediamo!"  
With that he sat back down and spread another breadroll with strawberry jam.  
Toby contemplated ignoring that too, but eventually leaned over to Cyril, whispering, "He meant 'kill' figuratively  
speaking, right?"  
Cyril blinked for a moment uncomprehendingly and then smiled reassuringly.  
"Sure. Yeah, right. That's what he meant."

**************

Toby ended up seeing Cyril a lot more than he'd expected to. Somehow they'd gotten to the point of it being some kind of  
a boyfriend thing.  
His boyfriend turned out not to be any friendlier with the law than Chris, though. But Toby liked it that way. He would  
have time for boring relationships when he was thirty.

***************

It was a whole different world. Hanging around with Cyril and his brother Ryan and Ryan's crazy boyfriend Dino, who Toby  
by now strongly suspected to belong to the mafia, no matter how often everyone assured him of the opposite. Though Cyril  
and Ryan weren't exactly law abiding either.  
It was different from anything he'd ever had before. Going to nightclubs where everyone knew them.  
Hanging out with gang-members. Doing drugs.  
His parents were horrified. Toby loved every second of it.  
It was almost enough to make him forget about Chris.

***************

"Do you still love him?" Cyril asked one morning, while they were still in bed.  
"No! Of course not!" If he admitted the truth to even just himself, he was going to throw up right here.  
"It's okay." Cyril smiled. "I'll just kill him, if he ever goes near you again."

***************

He'd found someone who genuinely cared about him. Cyril looked at him as if he was special, like he couldn't  
believe he was there with him. It was flattering, but Toby was a long way from love.

***************

He was nearly run down by Dino when he opened the door to the brothers' flat. Dino kept running down the stairs  
like a tank, looking neither left or right.  
On his way to Cyril's room, he heard muffled sounds coming from Ryan's room. When he tried to knock, he realized  
the door was open.  
Ryan was sitting on the bed, his face buried in his hands, crying softly.  
"Hey..." Toby sat down beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder.  
"Fuck him!... And fuck my life!" He didn't even raise his head to say it.  
"Why do you guys bother kicking it off time and time again, if you're fighting 90% of the time?"  
"We belong to each other. Do you think we haven't tried to end it before? We tried when we were 16 and we knew our  
parents would flip if they found out. We tried at 17 when our parents had found out and threatened to disown us. We  
tried at 18 when we were at war with the Italians. Hell, I even got married while Dino was in jail for 11 months,  
when we were 19. The result was a divorce and several of Dino's prison flings dead."  
"Wow, that sounds like so much fun." Toby raised his eyebrows. "Don't you ever get tired of it?"  
"There are days when I wake up and think that it would be easier to set him on fire and be done with it."  
"Love hurts." It was such a commonplace expression, Toby almost felt pathetic to have used it.  
"More than anything else."  
Toby nodded, weakly. And then they just sat there, Ryan blowing his nose.  
"You know, my brother has it bad for you."  
"I can't imagine why." Toby went for sarcastic and missed entirely, instead hitting sincere full-on.  
"What did people tell you that made you feel so small?"

***************

He'd known it from the beginning. He'd known things like this didn't happen to guys like him. Even in fairy  
tales the geek isn't the hero.  
And still he'd stood there, wide eyed, looking as if it had been a surprise.  
He never should have let him get closer. But he couldn't resist touching the stove, no matter how often his  
mother had warned him. He just needed to get burned to believe it.

He'd gotten a lot of firsts through Chris. First time he'd hooked up with a client. First time he'd kissed a man.  
First time he'd slept with a man. First time he'd gotten robbed by a lover. And indirectly, his first gang member  
boyfriend. His first post-break-up talk with a gang leader.  
If he had figured Chris out earlier, he'd still have been with Genevieve. Would that have been a good thing?

************************************  
Chapter 3. Not appealing  
************************************

Toby picked up his cellphone. Who the fuck called at this time.  
"Yeah." he answered, grumpily, not bothering with his name, after all he was the one being called.  
"Hey, Toby."  
Shit, he shouldn't have deleted Chris' number. If he'd known it was him, he wouldn't have answered.  
Chris sounded rather demure for his standards. Obviously he had at least some decency left.  
"You've got balls calling me." Toby spit out, acidly.  
"I need help."  
"Yeah? Well I need some sleep."  
"I need a lawyer."  
"I'm sure the state will appoint you one."  
"You're still in assigned couseling?"  
"Yes, but not for you."  
"The case would get you a lot of publicity."  
"So what?"  
"The assistant district attorney is this guy you hate. The one you told me about, from Harvard. Ryan Shore."  
Silence. Neither said a word, nor hung up. Toby took a deep breath.  
"What did you do this time?"

*********************************

"So Riker's this time? You're sure getting around." Toby made sure to radiate pissed-offness when he entered  
the room Chris was already waiting inside.  
"Thanks for coming." Chris said.  
Wow, this guy even managed to look somewhat remorseful. Not that Toby buyed any of it.  
"Let's get going. My flight back is scheduled for 5pm."  
"You're flying back today?"  
"Yes." No, he wasn't, he'd just checked in at the hotel he was staying at.  
"Why?"  
"Believe it or not, but I actually have other clients too." No, he hadn't, but that was none of Chris'  
business.  
Chris just looked at him humoringly.  
Toby went on bitingly, "In your file it says you're so cunning, yet getting caught this often, looks rather  
dumb, to me."  
Chris didn't take the bait. Hm, what a shame. Toby would have liked to watch the CO's beat the shit out of  
Chris, after he would have provoked him into attacking him. He wasn't so delusional to believe, he had a  
chance taking on Chris himself.  
"I was set up." Chris then said.  
"Yeah, right."  
"Really, that Detective hates me. He planted those drugs on me, honestly."  
"Honestly? You know I'm not exactly a good character witness for your honesty."  
"Sorry about your stuff."  
"SORRY about my STUFF?!" Toby took a deep breath. He really needed a drink. First thing when he was back at  
the hotel.  
"You can have the rolex back, the money's gone, though."  
"Keep the fucking rolex. I can buy a new one." Toby snapped.  
"Sorry, I didn't know, your feelings went that deep."  
"Sure you did. You just didn't give a damn." Wrong. Wrong, wrong answer. He should have pointed out that there  
were no feelings to begin with. Maybe, when he'd convinced himself of it.  
Chris stared at the table, guiltily, gnawing on his lower lip. This guy should have become an actor.  
"So what proof do you have of your innocence?"  
"None. This guy just dropped the dope into my car and arrested me."  
"Hm, that's not much. Was he alone?"  
"Yeah."  
"Hm.." Toby contemplated his moves, when there was a knock on the door.  
The ADA entered with a flourish.  
"Well, look at that. You look as lanky as ever Beecher."  
"Shore. I'm in a confidential conversation with my client."  
"Not any longer. Your time's up. Now it's my turn to hassle him a bit." Shore shot him a wide grin.  
Toby got up and took the seat beside Chris, while Shore sat down in front of them.  
"So, Keller. I hope now that you've got your 'lawyer' at your side to hold your hand, you'll be a bit more  
talkative."  
"Shoot."  
"Where did you get the drugs?"  
"Not mine."  
"You're aware, we're not only going to charge you for buying, but for selling too. We decided that that was just  
too much dope for just your personal needs. So you better talk, and maybe we can reach a deal."  
Toby, who'd just sat there like this whole business was none of his concern and he was just waiting for the bus,  
suddenly entered the conversation.  
"There will be absolutely no more talk between us. My client is innocent. I expect full disclosure until, say 1pm."  
Shore seemed taken aback.  
"Well look at this. Did you actually grow balls, Beecher?" He turned to Chris. "Keller, I should warn you, I don't  
think your lawyer is acting in your best interest. This deal is the only chance you got."  
"I rather take my chances with him." Chris gave back, nonchalantly.  
Shore got up, and left clearly miffed, without another word.  
"Wow, was he that bitchy at lawschool too?"  
"Yeah, he was." Toby frowned, pondering, "What makes you think I'm not going to fuck you over?"  
"You wouldn't," came the immediate answer.  
"And because we fucked, you think you know me?"  
"You believe too much in your profession to fuck with that. If you wanted to get back at me, you would do it some  
other way."

*********************************

"Don't look so pissed. Get over it already. I said sorry." Chris made a petulant face. Toby ignored him,  
rummaging in his briefcase for some documents.  
"You have to sign here and here."  
"You really know how to hold a grudge." Chris had hurt a lot of people in his life and yet managed most of  
the times to turn them around again. They always came back to him, loving him all the same. For example, his  
ex-wife Kitty (they'd been only married for about a year). She still was all over him. Whenever he wanted to  
fuck her or have her cook for him, he just showed up. That's how it had always been. He never felt sorry and  
he wouldn't feel bad because that little lawyer shot him those hurt-puppy looks. No he wouldn't feel sorry.  
He had only called Toby because he had needed a good lawyer. No other reason. He hadn't missed him kinda and  
wondered what he was doing.  
Toby was just like all the other ones. Why hadn't he been all over him, once he'd called him again?  
Even that bitch he'd ripped off, had called him after the trial and asked if they could see each other again.  
Toby was the same type. He couldn't have misjudged him this badly.  
Toby had been head-over-heels for him. And now he was like, 'whatever, I don't give a shit.'?  
"Do you really think just because you stare at me all smitten, I'll give you a second chance?" Toby interrupted  
his stream of thoughts, a partly amused, partly bitter half-smirk on his face. "Even I'm not that self-loathing."  
Toby for once seemed to be the one reading his thoughts. And if that wasn't disconcerting as hell.

********************************

"Tobias, why are you defending this scum? After everything he did to you."  
His father had stopped him while he was walking out of court.  
Wow, he hadn't even told them the whole story. They only knew that the break up had ended badly.  
"It's a prestigious case. If I win, I'm debunking a corrupt cop, who'll probably go to jail for that. There's  
always press around. It'll give me a reputation."  
"If you win. Otherwise you'll make a fool of yourself."  
"There's no such thing as bad press."

******************************

"Hey, Toby."  
"Yeah?"  
"I just wanted to say thank you. For everything you're doing for me." Chris looked at him with a somber  
face.  
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah. What I've done to you was wrong. Look, I know there's no reason for you to believe me, but I'm truly  
sorry. I mean it." Insistant eyes.  
"You promise?" Toby asked with wide eyes, looking more vulnerable than Chris had seen him in a long time.  
"Yeah, I swear."  
Toby leaned closer towards him. "How am I supposed to trust you?"  
"I'm gonna make it up to you somehow."  
"Yeah?" A small, hopeful smile appeared on Toby's face.  
"I swear." Chris hesitantly touched Toby's hand. He didn't pull away.  
Toby let out a breath and then leaned in and kissed Chris. Hot. Insistant. His hands moving into his hair grabbing  
his neck, pulling him closer. Chris leaned into him, deepening their kiss, wrapping his arms around him tightly,  
holding on with more raw need than he'd anticipated feeling.  
Toby pulled away to catch his breath.  
Or so Chris had thought. Toby's dreamy smile turned into a sneer.  
"Really? That easy?" Toby shook his head, chuckling. "How stupid do you think I am?"  
Chris looked at him flabbergasted, not really sure what had just happened.  
"Did I look this stupid when you pulled your scam on me? Oh, that's right. How are you supposed to know? You'd  
already run off then, with all my stuff."  
"I'm serious, Toby!" Chris sounded a little desperate by now.  
"No doubt." Toby remarked dryly, "You know what they say: 'Trick me once, shame on you. Trick me twice, shame on  
me'. I've learned my lesson. Thanks for showing me exactly what a pitiful wimp I've been. You really opened my  
eyes." With that Toby smiled broadly at Chris one more time, eyes blazing with contempt and barely contained anger,  
before he turned around and left the room. Leaving Chris, with raging emotions, he couldn't really classify.

Toby wasn't far better off. He was having a serious case of self-contempt. How he could still feel something for  
this guy was beyond him. There was no sane and sensible explanation for it. How could he have liked that kiss? No,  
liking the kiss was okay. It was just physical. There was nothing wrong with thinking Chris was hot. As long as had  
no feelings for him.  
But he had. For a moment he had really wished, that Chris did mean it. He bit onto his lower lip until he drew blood.  
He wouldn't go down that road again.  
Chris had made him feel better. He had made Toby feel special (like he'd made all his other marks, before him, Toby  
was sure). Toby had felt happy around him. He was so different. He didn't try to turn Toby into something he wasn't.  
He made him laugh. He had made him feel alive.  
But nothing of it had been true. Not one second he had meant it. Whatever buzz Chris had been giving him, he needed  
to find it somewhere else. Because this wasn't healthy and never would be.  
He needed to remember, he had a life. He had real friends now. He even had a boyfriend. He was living life as he wanted  
it. No pressure from his parents. No shit about commitment and expectations. It was what he wanted. It was what he  
needed.

*****************************

"If you fucked her, I swear I'm going to kill you!"  
With those words Toby was greeted when he entered Cyril's place.  
"I didn't! How often am I supposed to repeat myself?!"  
"Yeah, right!"  
"What the fuck?" Toby greeted Cyril, who was having coffee in the kitchen, unfazed.  
"Remember the party, we were yesterday? Where you couldn't come, because you had to defend your ex-boyfriend." Cyril  
glowered a little, but Toby knew he didn't mean it. "One of Ryan's exes was there."  
"What kind of ex? I thought those two have been together since they were sixteen?"  
"Yeah, well, my brother started early and they weren't exactly monogamous while they were still in denial."  
"Why would I fuck her, when I could fuck you?!" Their conversation was once more drowned out by Ryan's full volume  
reasoning.  
"Well, you're not!" Dino shot back.  
"What?" Ryan asked blankly.  
"You're not going to fuck me." Dino snapped at him. With another muttered "Fucking cheater!" he was out of the room.  
While Ryan remained, hands raised heavenwards in either defeat or plea towards the powers who had obviously long since  
abandoned him.  
"So, I take it, it was a good party?" Toby asked pleasantly, turning his attention to Cyril again.

*****************************

"Hey, Toby."  
"Keller." How dared he smile at him. "Your keys."  
"What?" Chris looked dumbfounded.  
"I need the keys to your car to check several things concerning your case." He tapped his foot on the floor impatiently.  
"Am I keeping you from something?" Chris asked, one eyebrow raised.  
"Oh no. I just don't want to be in the same room with you."  
Chris handed the key over.  
"That's the key to my flat, the car-key should be in my room on the desk."  
Toby smacked a notebook and a pencil on the table.  
"Write down your address."

*****************************

He'd never been to Chris' flat before. They'd only ever been at his place. It hadn't seemed weird to him  
back then. Now he knew better.  
Hopefully taking on his case this time, wouldn't turn out to be a mistake as big as the first time.  
When he unlocked the door, there was a guy sitting in what was supposedly the living room. He hadn't told  
him that he was sharing his flat, or even worse, that he had a boyfriend.  
"Who the fuck are you?" The guy walked up to him.  
"I'm Chris' lawyer, where is his room?"  
The guy just kept staring at him with furrowed eyebrows.  
"Tobias Beecher? His lawyer?" Toby tried again, "You know that he's in jail, right?"  
"Yeah, yeah, sure. I'm Ronnie, his flat-mate. But, come on, you're not a lawyer."  
"Yes, I am."  
"What, are you dating Chris or something?"  
"Most definitely not."  
"Yeah, sure, my fault. You're not his type, too."

At least Chris didn't seem to have talked to this guy about him. Toby had already imagined them laughing  
their asses off over him.

Toby entered Chris' room, taking his time looking around not exactly for what he'd come for. Leather jacket?  
Check. Porn? Check. He couln't help listening to Chris' missed calls. Calls from desperate One-night-stands?  
Check. 

*****************************

When Toby drives home he's definitely not sober any longer. In his head pictures of Chris flimmer.  
He's not the kind of guy a guy like Toby should have went for in the first place. He wasn't a thing  
like what he had imagined what he'd waited for, but as it seemed he'd been just that.  
He turns on the radio. Through the haze of alcohol he hears The Killers mock him even more. Despite  
himself he finds himself singing along loudly.

"You're waiting for a beautiful boy, to save you from your old ways."

Yeah, his old ways. He knows he shouldn't be driving drunk, but he's been drinking since he was 16.  
He can handle his liquor. Chris on the other hand, he couldn't handle. A beautiful boy he got, but  
there hadn't been any saving going on. At least Chris hadn't gotten to his savings. Toby chuckles to  
himself. Small mercies.

"He doesn't look a thing like Jesus, but he talks like a gentleman."

What had he expected? For Chris to take him to his fucking kingdom come? Yeah, Chris had got all the  
moves in the book. Not that he had needed all that much on Toby. Desperate. But Toby isn't desperate  
anylonger. And if he is stupid enough to fall for him a second time, he deserves it.

*****************************

What was it that made him feel, like he wasn't yet done with Toby? The game was through, there  
wasn't anything left to do. It would have been time to move on. But somehow, Chris didn't feel  
like moving on. Like there was something he'd missed.

*****************************

Funny, how Chris' whole scam had done him good in the end. It had woken him up, from the  
routine his life had become. A routine of always pleasing, always having your way layed out  
before you. It made life predictable. It made life stuffy. It made life unfullfilling. It made life  
boring. With Chris it had never been boring. And after he'd left, it had stayed that way. Toby  
hadn't gone back to his old ways, but started to find out what the hell he would like instead of  
his current life. Much of the shit he'd done had been stupid, but at least it had been stupid shit  
he'd decided to do.  
He was in control now. Not like before, when self-control had been all that counted. Now he had  
control over his surroundings. And he had the right to lose it.  
And shame on him, but he would be lying if he said that being with Chris right now was boring.  
Anything but that.  
He kinda looked forward to seeing him. Playing some mind-games, seeing who'd win.  
Sometimes Chris won, sometimes he did. Didn't matter if he lost a battle, after all he'd already  
won the war. He wouldn't fall for Chris again.

*****************************

"I love you, Toby. I really do."  
Toby nearly choked on his coffee.  
"I hope that was supposed to be a joke," he said once he'd regained a certain level of oxygen in  
his blood.  
"I'm serious, Toby." Chris said urgently.  
"I hope I acted as convincing in court, when I said that you were innocent."  
"I am innocent, this time."  
"Yeah, right. But joking aside, there's something we have to talk about."  
Chris looked up hopefully.  
"Your ex-wife. It would be good if she'd show up at court. It looks better if you have some concerned  
family showing up for you, instead of sitting there all lonely, like the miserable fuck you really are."  
"Testy, Toby. Are there maybe still some hurt feelings?"  
"Sure, there are." Toby shrugged. "Unlike you I'm human and I don't get over being made a fool of so  
simply."  
"If you'd just give me a second chance."  
"Don't even try, Chris. I already have a boyfriend right now."  
"He wouldn't stand a chance beside me."  
It came out so natural and confident, that it really pissed Toby off. This guy should have gotten two  
trials. One against him, one against his ego.  
Toby put on a nonchalant expression.  
"Oh, you think so? I can't say I haven't been satisfied in bed." Toby smiled once more, saucily, before  
he turned around and left Chris behind, to stew a little in it.

*****************************

"Hey, Ryan." Toby greeted him, "What's it this time?"  
"Conspiracy to commit murder."  
"What?!"  
"If at all, it's been self-defense. That guy tried to take over part of our turf."  
"That doesn't exactly qualifiy as self-defense."  
"What about a man's right to defend himself and his property."  
"I don't think it applies on drug-trade."  
"Anyway, they don't have anything against us."  
"I know, Cyril told me."  
"Well then, what are we waiting for? Get my ass out of here."  
"Before we discuss you're case, there's something else I need to talk to you about." Toby swallowed,  
trying to look completely conversational. "What would you do, if there was this guy, who fucked you  
over really bad. And now you're forced to spend a lot of time with him. And he apologizes. You don't  
believe it. But yet, you still got feelings for him." Toby was practically wringing his hands by now.  
"Oh boy. So you telling me, that you're cheating on my little brother?"  
"I'm not cheating!" Toby denied indignantly.  
"Don't get your panties in a twist, Tobes. I really gotta meet this Keller-guy one day. He seems to  
have some major mojo. I bet we would be awesome working together."

*****************************

Chris looked very somber, when he arrived today. Finally he starts worrying a little about his future,  
Toby thought satisfied.  
After some time Chris' constant stare became a little annoying though.  
"Spit it out already!"  
"You really have a boyfriend?"  
"Jesus Christ! Yes, I really do have a boyfriend. Is it so hard to believe someone would be interested  
in me?"  
"No."  
Chris' answer was so utter and absolute, that Toby was a little taken aback.

*****************************

It wasn't going on like this! He had a boyfriend he loved. Or at least cared for deeply. Cyril had done  
nothing to deserve such treatment.  
He couldn't be in a relationship and be thinking constantly about another guy! This would have to stop.  
He was done with Chris fucking up his life!

*****************************

"I'm resigning from your case." Toby felt emotionally chewed out. He had agonized over this long enough.  
"What?! Why?"  
"What now? Scared for your freedom? Now you don't love me any longer, huh? Now I'm no longer useful to  
you."  
"No, Toby. It doesn't change my feelings for you!"  
"Yeah, sure, you'd probably say anything to make me stay."  
Chris paused.  
"So, you actually care about whether my feelings for you are real or not."  
"No, I don't! My boyfriend's just really jealous. Can't do this to him any longer. That's not the way you treat  
the one you love."  
"You don't love him."  
"Whatever. I have some numbers for you from assigned counsels I can recommend." He handed Chris a sheet of  
paper. "Try her first. Catherine. I know her from law school. She takes this kind of work seriously." Toby turned  
around to leave. "Goodbye, Chris. This time forever, hopefully."  
"You're not getting rid of me that easily."

******************************

He was making the same mistake all over again. Without wanting to, he'd again fallen for Chris Keller.  
And not one second did he believe any of Chris' vows of love, but that didn't change, that the feelings  
were back. Just being around him, playing stupid games, trying to despise him, it made him feel so happy.  
When he involuntary laughed at some stupid remark of Chris. Sometimes when Chris winked at him in court,  
like he couldn't care less about the case, like it was just the two of them.

******************************

Chris didn't know what he was trying to achieve by this. It wasn't like any of his words would make him  
seem any more trust-worthy.  
"Toby, don't just delete the message when you hear this! It isn't about the case! It's not I swear! I'll get  
another lawyer if that'll make you believe me!"  
Welcome to the real world, Chris Keller, where you don't get a second chance.  
It had been a long time since Chris had had a run-in with gravity. And how fucking ironic it was. He remembered  
how he'd always tell Ronnie to think before he acted.

******************************

Toby opened his mailbox after a few days. State prison, State prison, State prison.

»It's not about the case!«

»It's not about the case!«

»It's not about the case!«

******************************

Ronnie opened the door, looking like he'd just woken up.  
"I'm here to return the key." Toby told him curtly, hoping to finish this business fast.  
"Just drop it off in his room." Ronnie told him, making way.

Toby entered the room for the second time.  
He gave himself the time to take in Chris' room for one last time. The room alone said exactly everything about  
what kind of guy Chris was and in reflection also what kind of guy Toby was. So stupid. No, that's the wrong way  
to look at it. Chris had woken him up. From the stupor he'd lived under from day one.  
He let his gaze wander in bittersweet memory. He really liked the leather jacket. Toby wondered if he could just  
steal it. It would be poetic justice. Damn, he'd just go for it. Toby giggled to himself, feeling very childish,  
but also very happy.  
The answering machine was blinking, as always. Damn, didn't those desperate bitches know that Chris was in jail.  
Yeah, right. Desperate bitches. Maybe he should get a shirt with it.  
He pressed the play button, compulsively.  
"Hey Toby. Don't turn this off now. I guessed you'd come here to drop off my key, eventually. I can't convince you  
that I'm serious about you. I know that. And to be perfectly honest I wasn't even aware I was serious, for a long  
time. So, I just wanted to say, when I get out, I'm going to give you a call. If you haven't changed your cell number  
till then, I'll take that as a 'yes'."  
Arrogant prick. Did he think the world revolved around him? That Toby would just change his phone number just so he  
wouldn't get calls from him anylonger?  
Toby played the message a second time and even listened all through the other twenty messages from old flings until  
he had processed this new information.  
There were several things to take from this. Toby, you're so pathetically predictable. Toby, you're seemingly to die  
for. Toby, you got yourself a stalker. Toby, you're this close from cheating on your boyfriend. Toby, what the fuck  
are you even still doing in this place?  
The first action he was capable of again, was deleting said message and all the others too, because he could.

******************************

He slammed Cyril against the wall, already all over him before his head had even touched the wall. While his  
tongue was busy inside his mouth, his hands were already opening his trousers.  
"Fuck me!"

******************************

"I'm back." Toby slammed down his bag and slumped down into his chair. There was nothing more to say to that.  
His defeat was bad enough.  
"Welcome back." Chris sounded surprised and pleased, "Did you get my message?"  
"What message?"

******************************

"Well, Mr. Keller, you sure have a lot of fluctuation with your lawyers."  
"That's not a crime." Chris winked at the judge. She only huffed, looking away quickly.  
"So, Mr. Beecher, are you sure you're back on the case."  
"I am."

"I got you released on bail." Toby said, like he got physical pain from having done something to help him.  
"Wow, thanks Toby. That's awesome."  
"Yeah, whatever."

******************************

"The court's dismissing the case. You're free to go Mr. Keller."

Toby felt the adrenaline pump through his veins, when he heard the magic words he had been  
working towards. A grin spread over his face. That's why he did this job. Even more than because  
it was obligatory in his family. Those moments, when he felt like he could do anything. When he  
felt like he wasn't an awkward coward.  
He turned towards Chris and they grinned at each other. Impulsively he grabbed Chris' neck and  
pulled him into a kiss.  
Okay, that had been both unprofessional and embarrassing. Luckily Chris decided not to hold this  
short moment of lost control against him, and didn't comment on it.  
"You were amazing." he said instead.  
Toby hoped he was commenting on his ability as a lawyer and not on the kiss.

*********************************

"Cyril," He didn't even know how to begin. "I might have..."  
"Kissed your ex-boyfriend?" Cyril asked curtly, without blinking he turned on the news.  
"Oh, fuck."  
"That's right." Cyril watches the footage of Toby kissing Chris in the courtroom, like he's seen  
it a few times already. "Looked quite passionate."  
"It meant nothing! It was just the adrenaline! I swear.."  
"Don't. It's only because I love you that I won't kill you." His face fell. "No, just kidding. But  
don't you think it's time you and Keller stop playing this game with each other and everyone around  
you?"

*********************************

Shit, he had forgotten about the papers. The next morning the picture of him kissing Chris was all over  
the newspapers. "Gay lawyer saves boyfriend from corrupt cop".  
He had twelve messages from his mother on the answering machine when he woke up, and three from people  
who wanted to buy the film rights to his story.

*********************************

Chris is in front of his house.  
"You look like a geek in that jacket." Chris greets him with a smile that says they both remember their  
first conversation.  
"What do you want?" Toby asks with a certain sense of trepidation that comes with toppling down a slope  
gaining momentum uncontrollably.  
"You."  
"Now?" Toby laughs.  
"All the time." Chris replies in a way that would be cheesy from every other person on the planet, but comes  
of suavely from him.  
And now Toby can only scoff. "Not very smooth, Mister."  
Toby walks past him to unlock the door. Chris leans in close and whispers against the nape of his neck.  
"By the way, you've got my leather jacket, you might as well wear it."

*********************************  
Chapter 4. Boy gets drink, boy gets another drink, boy goes to rehab  
*********************************

"Is this college boy staying over here again?" Ronnie asked annoyed.  
"He's not a college boy. He's a lawyer." Chris answered preoccupied.  
"So he's a new mark, or what?"  
"No, he's no mark. Don't fuck with him, he's mine." Chris shot him a warning look.  
"What the fuck. You never bring anyone here. What's so special about him?"  
"I love him." Chris answered like it was obvious and it's stupid to even ask.  
That moment Toby came out of the bathroom. Chris walked over to him and put an arm  
around his shoulder.  
"Hey babe, missed yah." He pecked him on the neck.  
"Yeah, like I've been gone such a long time." Toby smiled nevertheless. They went into Chris'  
room, leaving a pissed of Ronnie behind.

When Toby went out of Chris' room at night to get a glass of water from the kitchen, Ronnie  
was still sitting in front of the TV in the living room. The living room was centered in the middle  
of all the rooms, so Toby had to cross through to make it to the kitchen.  
"You don't possibly think he's serious with you?" Ronnie's voice cut through silence.  
"What's it to you?"  
"Just thought it fair to give you a heads up."  
"A little to late for that." Toby laughed humorlessly, "Now you probably want to warn me that  
Chris is going to rip me off and run, hm?"  
"Yeah exactly. Just a friendly warning. We go way back. I know what he's like."  
"Been there, done that." 

*******************************

Toby and Chris were lying in bed. Toby was trailing patterns with his fingers on Chris' back.  
"How was it, being in Lardner?" Toby asked.  
"Jail."  
"You don't wanna talk about it?"  
"Nah, it's alright. Watcha wanna know?"  
"I don't know... You obviously don't want to go back and yet you pull scams and stuff."  
"That's because I'm a piece of shit." Chris smiled at Toby.  
"No you're not." Toby wrapped his arms around Chris, pulling his head to his chest.  
They lay like this for a while. Then Chris started talking again.  
"I was pretty scared when I first went to Lardner. I mean you've read my file, I was only 17.  
I had no reputation to protect me, no friends." He paused for a moment, swallowing.  
"There was this guy who was running the Aryan Brotherhood there. We made this deal, sex for  
protection. Saved my ass, so to speak." Chris chuckled a bit.  
"There's nothing funny about that Chris." Toby said horrified, "That's prison rape. You should  
have told the guards. They are supposed to prevent something like this!"  
Chris looked up and cupped Toby's cheek. "You have a really idealistic view of our penal system."  
"That– Things like this shouldn't happen... I'm so sorry I brought it up. I had no idea." Toby was  
at a loss for words.  
"It's okay Toby, don't worry your pretty head off. That's ancient history." With that Chris went to  
sleep. Toby didn't close one eye. The recent ugly revelation circling in his head.

*********************************

"Isn't it a bit early for that?" Chris asked when Toby poured himself a drink in the morning.  
Chris had been staying over night at Toby's place. Normally at a work day, they didn't stay at each  
other's places, so Chris hadn't seen Toby drink in the morning before.  
Toby had started drinking regularly during university. The stress, the pressure. At first he'd wanted  
to relax in the evening. Then he'd wanted to calm himself in the morning. One had led to the other.  
He didn't think about it any longer. Grabbing some Jack Daniel's before work had just become a habit.  
Now he thought about it the first time. Maybe it wasn't that normal. After all he had never drunk in  
front of his parents or Genevieve. Probably because he felt ashamed subconsciously.  
But he always had an excuse. The pressure everyone was putting on him. Work. The world. Life.  
Everything just seemed much more managable after a drink, or a few drinks. So what, if it made  
him feel better? No harm done.  
Right?  
"Chill, Keller. It's just one drink. Are you the upkeeper of virtue now?"  
Keller. That's what Toby called him when he's pissed with him. Chris decided to drop the matter  
for now.

**********************************

Toby was standing at the counter in the kitchen, talking on the phone. He looked concentrated,  
scribbling down stuff, his brows furrowed. Obviously something to do with work. Toby was still  
doing assigned counseling, though his parents were still giving him trouble over it, as far as  
Chris knew. Chris leaned against the doorframe, enjoying watching Toby. He liked it when Toby looked  
this professional. His no-bullshit face he also used in court. Slightly pissed off, slightly aloof.  
Like he was saying 'I don't know why I even give you the time of the day'. As long as this look  
wasn't directed at him, like in the past.  
"What're you looking at?" Toby had finished his call and was now looking at Chris, smiling.  
"Just like to watch you work. You're sexy when you're all lawyered up."  
Toby blushed. Damn that was cute. Seemingly, these days, he liked everything about Toby. He was short  
of seeing sparkles everywhere. Guess that's what they call love. It was scary. Scary as hell. It had  
to be worse for Toby, though. Once bitten, twice shy.  
Chris hadn't been looking for love. He wasn't really sure how it had happened. But in retrospective  
he realized that he must have already liked him when they first met. He'd thought back then that Toby  
was pathetic. Just too easy to play to resist. So insecure and emotional needy. Fuck. But there had  
been a whole lot more to Toby, than met the eye. And now he had him running to prove that he'd changed.  
And, fuck that's nothing Chris had ever done for anyone before.  
On an objective basis he could tell himself that Toby wasn't all that great, wasn't that fucking special  
to deserve all this effort. But fuck if it but made a dent in all the fuzzy feelings playing havoc inside  
his head. Love was a bitch and it was starting to look more and more like she had made him her bitch.

*******************************

Chris had just come home after he'd been on some scam with Ronnie in Las Vegas. He went straight  
to Toby's flat. He again (after a hell of a lot of ass-kissing) had a key to his flat, so he just  
went in. It was around 6pm. Toby was sitting in the living room.  
"Hey Tobe!" he called.  
Toby looked around dazedly and got up swaying slightly. He went over to him and hugged him.  
"Chris, at last. Give me a kiss."  
He smelled like a liquor store. On the table Chris saw a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels.  
"You're drunk." he assessed annoyed.  
Toby didn't even seem to register his pissed-offness.  
"You bet your ass I am. Did you miss me? Christ, I missed you. Come on, let's fuck."  
"I don't wanna fuck you, Toby." he brushed Toby's hands off.  
Toby looked at him bewildered.  
"Are you mad at me about something?"  
"Look, we'll talk about this when you're sober."  
"Oh, Jesus, what did I do?"  
"It's only 6 in the evening and you're drunk like they're restarting prohibition tomorrow."  
No Toby looked annoyed.  
"Because of that you're getting all flustered?! I've got it under control! I can stop. I can stop  
the drinking. I can."  
"Yeah, just keep telling yourself."  
"Who are you to tell me about misbehaviour? You've spent the last fourteen days with your little  
pal doing who-knows-what!" Toby yelled at him.  
"You're jealous of Ronnie? Come on that's ridiculous."  
"I'm not jealous, you dumb fuck. I'm talking about whatever criminal activity you've been indulging  
there. Do you think I'm that stupid that I can't put two and two together?!"  
Shit.  
"It wasn't like we've robbed a bank, or something..."  
"So what then? Credit card fraud?! Cheating some old lady out of her savings?! It didn't come  
to your mind that I was sitting here every day wondering when I'll get the call that you're in need  
of a lawyer again." Toby shot him an acussing look.  
"I'm careful, there's really no reason to worry."  
"Yeah, you're careful alright. Like when you were so careful you ended up in Lawdner?! Or even  
better, you fuck with the wrong guy, maybe you just get killed!"  
"Oh Jesus, keep the drama down a bit, will ya. It's not like you started drinking because of me.  
You're drinking because you're a little rich-kid pussy, who just can't manage life." Okay, fuck.  
That came out a little too strong.  
Chris hadn't anticipated the punch, when Toby's fist connected with his jaw.  
"Fuck." He rubbed his jaw. "Is that all you got, you little bitch?!" he asked, taunting.  
"Out." Toby hissed, "Get the fuck out of my place!"  
"No need to ask me twice." Chris snorted. He heard the bottle of Jack crash against the wall  
beside his head, while he was on his way out.

*******************************

"You're back soon! Didn't go so well with To-bee?" Ronnie asked when Chris came back cursing  
under his breath.  
"Leave me alone, Ronnie."  
He went to his room, falling down onto his bed. Fuck. This was supposed to be a nice evening  
together. Right now he should be fucking Toby, not lying in his bed, alone. Well, there was no  
need to be alone. He could get company anytime he wanted. He could talk up some chicks  
outside. Damn he could even have Ronnie if he as much as snapped his finger.  
But the sad truth was, that he didn't want some random fuck. He wanted Toby. Toby.  
Toby was nothing but trouble. Too many rules. Too many insecurities. And most of all too many  
feelings. He hated not being in control. But between the two of them it seemed no one was in  
control at all.  
How that conversation had spun so fucking fast so much out of control? But Chris didn't like to  
be controlled and neither did Toby. And he'd already shitted on too many of his own rules to  
be with Toby. Did he think he could throw a bottle at him and kick him out of his flat, like  
he was a fucking dog? No, sir. Chris was done playing nice.

********************************

Fuck. How had everything gone so wrong. He'd been so happy Chris was finally home again.  
It wasn't his damn fault. Chris'd needed to hear those things.  
But a little voice in his head told him, that maybe he'd needed to hear those things too.  
He wasn't an alcoholic. Many people drank regularly.  
Yeah, right. Did many people also end up puking their souls out over the toilet, regularly? Or  
hit their boyfriends? But it wasn't like he could possibly seriously hurt him or anything. That  
didn't make it better.  
So what, it had maybe gone a little out of hand with his drinking habit. Yes, that was right, he had  
a habit. Oh god. Maybe Chris had been right.  
Toby tried to remember the last time he'd spent a complete day sober. Oh fuck.  
He went to mop up the mess he'd left on the floor after throwing the bottle after Chris. It had  
been his own damn fault. He'd been such a fucking asshole, when Toby had nothing but worried  
about him. ~Like he had about you.~  
There was a simple way to find out how bad his habit was. He started pouring his bottles into  
the sink. Maybe one last shot? No. He kept going. Finally he'd emptied the last bottle.  
Half an hour later he was at a gas station buying a new bottle.  
He definitely needed help.

**********************************

"Hey Chris it's your »boyfriend« on the phone."  
"I don't wanna talk to him."  
"Sorry Toby, he said he doesn't want to talk to you." Ronnie's voice was dripping with disdain.  
After he'd hung up he went over to Chris and flopped down onto the couch beside him.  
"Thank God you saw reason and finally broke up with him. He didn't fit in with us."  
"What do you know, Ronnie?" Chris said in a dull voice.  
"Hey, you were the one who didn't want to talk to him. You got that one good," he snickered.  
"Sounded like a mess on the phone."  
"Shut up." Chris got up and went back into his room.

*******************************

They hadn't talked to each other for a week now. Toby hadn't called again, after Chris had refused  
to talk to him on the day after their fight. Chris hadn't tried to call either.  
Now he was sitting in his car standing near Toby's flat, staring up at his window. Like this he'd  
spent the last hour. Like yesterday. And the day before that. Why hadn't Toby called again? Was  
Chris now supposed to run back to him? Or did Toby just not care any longer? He wasn't the type to  
run back to someone, he was the one others ran after. With Toby he'd broken this rule already.  
And if he got back together with Toby, there were still the same issues. Toby wouldn't just accept his  
way of living. How much was he willing to give up to be with Toby? How much was he willing to  
change? How much change was he capable of?  
If they got back together now... how long would it go on until?... What had he been thinking would  
happen?! As cheap as it sounded, they had absolutely nothing in common. Except that Toby was a lawyer  
and he a con. Great foundation for a serious relationship. Fuck. Serious relationship. Was that  
what he wanted? How long could it possible last? He wanted to have fun. No ties. No commitment.  
Everything about Toby virtually screamed commitment.  
He started his car and drove to a nightclub.

*******************************

He wasn't going to call again. He had tried, Chris had rebuffed him, though it had probably been  
his fault as much.  
Chris'd let Ronnie answer the fucking phone. He could go and fuck himself, or Ronnie if he wanted to.  
He didn't care about him. If he had, he would at least have called by now.  
~You punched him and threw a bottle after him.~ But he had tried to apologize. But instead of  
listening to him, he'd had let that wanker answer.  
Toby was on the internet looking for AA-groups in his neighborhood. Maybe he should get back  
with Gene. He could send Chris an invitation to their wedding. Toby snickered. That was of  
course bullshit, he'd never do that to Gene. In contrary to some people, he didn't step on the  
feelings of someone just for the hell of it.  
That fuckwad would probably end up in jail for life anyway. Good that he'd seen the last of him.  
He still wasn't any better at lying to himself. In spite of all the practice he'd had.  
~I could try to talk to him once more.~ If he would show up at his flat, Chris would maybe talk to  
him. No. He'd lost enough dignity and sleep over this guy.  
Time to lose sleep and dignity in some other way. Tonight he was going out.

*******************************

The club was buzzing. Barely clad bodies pressing against each other. The air smelled of sweat  
and booze. Chris let his eyes sweap over the crowd. Already he'd made out two guys who were  
just his type. Cute, young, blond.  
Five minutes later he was leaning against the bar, making out with both of them. Yeah, he still  
got game. He was having a hell of a good time. Toby was probably at home right now, crying his  
eyes out. At least Chris hoped he was. Toby couldn't have just moved on, like 'Okay, didn't work  
out for me. Let's try something new'.  
One of the guys had said something to him. Whatever, he just kissed him to shut him up. He let  
his gaze wander over the room again. Taking in all the lusty or envious looks directed at him.  
There was no one he couldn't have tonight. His gaze fell on another blond on the dancefloor.  
Toby. Definitely drunk, dancing with some brawny guy. Low-slung jeans and a skin-tight shirt.  
Could he look even more easy? But damn, he looked hot too.

Damn. Chris. He was maybe drunk, but not that drunk that he didn't care any longer. Toby pressed  
himself closer to whatever-his-name-was's body. Kissing him with lots of tongue. They were  
basically dry humping by now.  
And sure enough, Chris started walking into their direction. Toby wasn't sure if that was the reaction  
he had intended to provoke.

Chris bumped right into the guy, sending him toppling over, but he regained his balance fast.  
"Watch your step, fucker!" he adressed Chris, looking ready for a fight.  
"Why don't you do us all a favor and fuck off?" Chris sneered at him condescendingly.  
"Why don't you fuck off? I'm having a good time here." Toby let his hand trail down bulky-guy's chest.  
"Honestly, Toby? What do you want with that loser?" Chris asked keeping his air of suave nonchalance  
when addressing Toby too. Even though just his walking over here had proven that he was far from  
nonchalant.  
"I have no idea how you got the thought it was any of your business." Toby replied with a smile.  
"You heard him, man, now get the fuck out of my sight, before I make you."  
"Make me? Oh, I'd really like to see that."  
Bulky-guy lunged at him, but Chris easily blocked his blow, placing one of his own instead.  
"Cut it out, you two!" Toby yelled. "Before we're all going to get thrown out!"  
"Out. That's a great idea." With that Chris grabbed Toby's arm and dragged him outside, bulky-guy  
followed them.  
"Let the fuck go of me!"  
"Did you know I was here?" Chris glowered at him accusingly.  
"What the fuck! You really think the world is revolving around you, huh? Well guess what, Chris:  
It's not. And I'm going home now, to let this guy here fuck me up the ass." That sure hit home.  
Chris looked like he was ready to kill. Which, considering all Toby knew about him, maybe he was.  
In the haze of alcohol and anger it didn't bother him very much.  
Chris stared at the guy like he was vermin. "You better run now, as long as we haven't had to call  
an ambulance yet."  
The other just tackled him without further conversation. It was over fast. Chris had him on the  
ground and was pounding at his face. Maybe he should stop him now, it accured to Toby. Or maybe he  
should find a quiet place and throw up.  
"Let go of him Chris," He'd finally summed up the strenght to intervene. No reaction. "I mean it.  
In my capacity as your lawyer– Ah, fuck it." He kicked Chris in the back.  
"–the fuck?!" Chris let go of his prey and turned towards Toby. The other guy took his chance and  
beat it.  
Chris looked really pissed off. Toby wondered for a moment if he was going to hit him. Probably  
not.  
Chris just kept staring at him furiously, breathing hard.  
Meanwhile Toby wondered if they could still fuck, even if they weren't together.  
"What?!" Chris looked at him flabbergasted.  
Oh shit, he didn't just say that out loud? Then he decided he didn't care. He'd most likely have a blackout  
tomorrow anyway. "You wanna fuck?"  
"Yeah," Chris replied in a stupor. –Okay, that wasn't how it was supposed to go. Well, maybe he'd thought  
about it. But he was supposed to be in charge, not Toby. Who was so drunk Chris was amazed he still talked  
without a slurr. He wasn't going to sleep with Toby while he was in no condition to make decisions of his  
own. Oh lord, something was really wrong with him.  
"I'm going to take you home now."  
"Oh yeah, that's right. Take me home." Toby leered at him, letting his hand trail down Chris' chest,  
to the band of his trousers. Chris just pushed him in the direction of his car.

"Better now?" Chris was standing beside him, handing him a glass of water, while Toby still hung over  
the toilet, legs sprawled on the floor. Toby retched again.  
"Oh God, this is so embarrassing..." he groaned.  
"If it helps, you're not the first person, I've ever seen puking their soul out."  
"It doesn't." He took a drink from the glass and leaned back over the toilet immediately.  
"Why are you so nice?" Toby asked after a while.  
"Why are you so pathetic?"  
Toby hadn't been aware he was still in a condition to laugh.  
Chris wasn't so sure himself, at what point he'd decided to become Toby's white knight in shining  
armor.  
"You can leave now, I'm fine on my own." Toby leaned back against the tiles of the bathroom. The  
cool they gave off helped his headache a little.  
"I'm not leaving."  
"Now or in general?" Fuck, where did that come from? Was he going straight from pathetic and  
helpless to needy and clingy? Chris looked just at him, stunned. At least he didn't laugh.  
"I... thought... for now..." He sounded less than sure.  
"Alright, then fuck off."  
"What?! I– Just now–"  
"If you're going to leave again anyway, there's no use for you staying now. We have nothing to do with  
each other anymore."  
"Just now you asked me if I wanted to stay." Chris stated, completely flummoxed now.  
"Listen to me, listen to me. I love alcohol. I have to put it behind me because it is poison. You are  
the same. You're both only fucking me up even more."  
"I'm not to blame for your mistakes!" Chris retorted, already on the defensive again.  
"Exactly. So from now on I'm taking responsibility for my actions." Toby even managed to stand  
up, though shaky, "When I went out tonight, to get drunk and get laid... I did it because I missed  
you. Because it all hurt too much. I had actually started to look for a support group from Alcoholics  
Anonymous, but," he pointed a finger at Chris, "I took YOU as an excuse to continue drinking. And you  
are totally right, that's not your fault. It's my own, because I'm weak. But not any longer." He was  
shaking his head. "I'm getting you out of my life for good. I will stop missing you, I will stop wanting  
you. It will take some time, but eventually I will just forget about you."  
Chris felt something like dread crawling in his guts. The sort of panic he'd felt when he was sent to Lardner  
that first time. He'd gambled too long. Now he was going to lose it all. Toby would forget about him. He  
wouldn't matter any longer. At some point he probably wouldn't recognize him on the street anymore. He would  
become meaningless.  
"I don't want it to end." It wasn't courage that gave him the strength to tell the truth, but desperation.  
"Neither do I."  
Toby had spoken so soft, that Chris had barely heard him.  
"Then, let's stop this game." he said.  
"I have to stop drinking and you have to stop breaking the law."  
"Okay." That easy Chris threw away all the rules he'd made. Without a second thought.  
"If you say 'yes' now, there aren't going to be any excuses in the future. If you get your ass send  
to jail just one more time, I'm not going to bail you out."  
"What if you get wasted again?"  
"Then you can drop me into a ditch at the side of the road."  
"I don't think I could treat you as harshly as you treat yourself." He paused. "Those changes... they  
are going to take time."  
Toby walked towards Chris, still a little unsteady. He cupped Chris cheek with one hand.  
"Where are you seeing yourself in 15 years? I don't want to be frustrated and bitter, hating myself,  
living a life I don't want. Drinking so I can stand getting up every morning. If I continue like this...  
who knows...I could lose my job..." His face tensed. "This morning I read in the paper, that some  
guy driving drunk, hit a little kid. That could be me... And you," He brushed through Chris' hair.  
"You could be in jail for life."  
Chris' mouth turned into a pained smile.  
"There's not much else I could do." He placed one hand on the back of Toby's neck. "I'm not some  
fancy college graduate."  
"You're 25 not 40. You can change."

*******************************

They were in the kitchen, making something for dinner, when Toby decided that it was time to  
get it over with.  
"Chris."  
"Hm?"  
"I'm going to rehab. I wanna do it right. Support-groups are all nice, but in rehab it's going to  
go much faster and I'll have psychological support and everything. I've already got a place there.  
I'm leaving in three days."  
"Alright.", Chris said it very slow, brows furrowed in what could be confusion or anger.  
"I know, the timing is really bad. With us just having gotten back together... But it's really important  
that I do this now. Without any excuses." Toby desperately wanted to assure Chris that this wasn't  
some way of breaking-up with him. He wanted to be together with Chris. He wanted him to still  
be there when he got back.  
"Okay." Chris signaled him to go on.  
"I will be there for approximately three months... It's just. I won't be allowed to have any visitors  
there until they say otherwise. It's so we can concentrate on therapy."  
This was really bad. He could see Chris closing down. His features betraying nothing any longer.  
He was probably not going to see Chris for at least a month if not longer. And it was all so fresh  
between them, so fragile. It was like walking on eggshells. And most of the time they were both  
too desperate to protect their pride, to say what they were really feeling. But he wouldn't lose  
Chris again because they were both cowards.  
"Please still be there when I get back." He swallowed. "I know you'll probably see other people,  
while I'm gone." ~Dammit, Toby. Just say it. He's going to fuck other people.~ "But, please don't  
end up in jail, yeah?"  
Chris didn't answer, he just studied Toby's face, like he was expecting to see something that hadn't  
been there before. After what felt like hours to Toby, he seemed satisfied with his examination.  
"You mean it?"  
"Yes! The meeting people part or the not going to jail part?"  
"The wanting me part, you douche." Chris was smiling at him affectionately.  
"Yes, most definitely." Toby nodded once, to emphasize his words.  
"Okay." Chris was getting off the wall he'd been leaning against during the whole conversation,  
arms crossed, looking nonchalant. He went over to where Toby was standing and leaned against  
the wall one hand beside each side of Toby's head, "Then I'll be there."  
Toby waited. Waited for Chris to add something, or maybe change his mind, looking at Chris like he  
was some strange, unknown object and he couldn't possibly know, what to do with him.  
Then he just grinned, his hands prickling with adrenaline and happiness. And Chris grinned back.  
So they were standing in Toby's kitchen, grinning at each other like fools.

*******************************

"What do you mean you can't?"  
"I'm no longer doing that kind of stuff and you shouldn't either."  
"Come on, Chris. You want it. I can see it in your eyes. You need it. It's in our nature. We're wild animals.  
We can't be bound by law or society."  
"I know. But wild animals can't live in this world. They're hunted down."  
"That's just your little pussy-bitch lawyer talking there!"  
"Careful, Ronnie." Chris voice turned low and icy within a second.

*******************************

"Hey."  
"Hey."  
"..."  
"..."  
"How you been doing?"  
"Good... kinda."  
A month had passed during which Toby hadn't been allowed to call or have visitors. Now he was  
at least allowed to call.  
"That's good."  
"Have you been staying out of trouble?" Toby hoped he hadn't sounded patronizing.  
"Yessir. If I keep going like this, they're gonna name a saint after me."  
Toby felt his mouth form a grin.  
"How long do you have to stay?" Chris asked.  
"Another two months..." Toby barely kept himself from saying 'Please don't break up with me'.  
Chris must have heard the reluctance in his voice.  
"You're not chickening out, are you? You know you can do it."  
Was he being supportive right now?  
"No, I'm not... I just miss you."  
"...Yeah, me too. Don't hook up with any mentally unstable chicks, or guys... Don't you laugh at  
me!" Chris added already laughing himself.

*******************************

He couldn't quite believe it, when he saw Chris standing outside. After two months he was finally allowed to  
have visitors. His family was of course going to visit, but the person he really wanted to see was Chris.  
His parents had hoped that the whole rehab thing meant he was done with Chris and would go back to having a  
girlfriend. They obviously hadn't understood the concept of being gay. 'But Toby, being gay is nothing you  
discover suddenly when you're already 25', he could vividly remember his parents' words.

When he'd come here it had been February but now it was April and the weather was starting to get warmer,  
aside from occasional downpours of rain.  
He practically ran towards him, stopping right in front of him, suddenly feeling self-conscious.  
Chris also just stood in front of him, looking a little unsure of how to approach. He made his mind up quickly,  
though, and pulled him into a kiss. Toby reciprocated after being stunned for a second. His old self would have  
been ashamed to be seen kissing a man in public. But he had changed so much already, over the last... Wow, it had  
already been a year since this whole Chris-debacle/best-thing-that-ever-happened had started.  
When he finally considered that he could maybe finish one sentence without the need to kiss Chris again overtaking  
him, he broke their kiss for a moment. Giving Chris a huge smile.  
"I'm so glad you came."  
"I love you."  
Toby didn't quite know how to respond to that. The first time Chris had said this to him it had been a lie. The  
next times he had been sure they were too. And now, he was just surprised. It wasn't in question whether he loved  
Chris. That was pretty damn obvious. But he started to think, looking back, maybe it'd been pretty obvious that  
Chris loved him too. "You know, we're not allowed to have sex during our time in rehab, but I'd say it doesn't count  
if we stay outside the building. Let's take your car."  
"I like the way you're thinking." Chris smirked at him, pulling him to the car.

*******************************  
Chapter 5. Kicking things  
*******************************

"I'm Toby and I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober for four months now."

Chris never came inside when he picked him up after his AA-meetings. He always waited outside, leaning against  
his car, arms crossed, smiling like he was a god-given gift and knew it. Which, well, he was.  
"Hey you." Toby hugged Chris. He was so glad Chris was coming to pick him up everytime. They hadn't talked about  
it. Chris had just shown up each time after Toby's meetings.  
"Had a good time?" Chris asked, going for a kiss.  
"It helps a lot." He smiled at Chris and gave him a quick peck. "But so do you."  
"Gah, you're cheesy."  
"Alright, you don't help at all. I just like the sex." Toby chuckled. Chris jabbed him in the side playfully.  
"So did you get some kind of assignment this time, too? Like getting a plant or something."  
"Yeah, we have to talk to our family about our problems and what led to them. You can imagine how much I am  
looking forward to that. You come support me?" he wiggled his eyebrows at Chris.  
"Sure. Meet Mr. and Mrs. Toby Senior. I bet they can't wait to see their new son-in-law in the flesh."  
"Been talking about nothing else for weeks."

*******************************

Chris was even wearing a button down shirt to his jeans, no tie though. Chris always looked hot, but tonight  
he had to look show-your-parents presentable.  
"Wow, I think you're actually nervous. I always wondered what you'd look like, like that."  
"Ha ha."

"Mr. Keller." he was greeted frostily by Toby's parents. He got a limp handshake from Mr. Beecher and felt nearly  
compelled to tell them that being a thug wasn't catching. In consideration for Toby's peace of mind he limited his  
reaction to a sharkish grin. Mrs. Beecher actually wrinkled her upper lip in distaste. Wow, life with Mr. and Mrs.  
Proper Conduct must have been just peachy.

*******************************

"I don't think your parents exactly like me..." Chris said with a mixture of bemusement and amusement.  
"'not like' looks different, trust me. That was nearly son-in-law quality."  
"You mean 'So Christopher, what do you do for a living?'" Chris said, eyebrows raised nearly to his hairline, with  
a deep voice.  
"My father doesn't talk like that." Toby laughed.  
"That was your mother." Chris deadpanned.  
"We should go party." Chris stated on their drive back.  
"Chris... I don't know."  
"Don't worry, I'm with you. Nothing's gonna happen. We'll just have fun, and you won't even think about grabbing a  
drink, while I'm with you." Chris grin was so self-assured, that Toby actually had to laugh.

It was already three in the morning and Toby had to work the next day, nevertheless they were still dancing, making  
out, caught in their own world. Feeling the vibration of the beat, glitter raining from the ceiling.

*******************************

When Toby finished work on Friday, he went straight to Chris' apartment. While they still slept at their own  
places on work days, they spent the whole weekend at the one or the other's place.  
He picked up some Thai take-away for dinner. When he arrived at Chris' place, he saw a dubious looking man leave  
Chris' place. He had maybe grown up pampered in a rich kid neighborhood, but through his work as a lawyer he'd  
gotten a pretty good eye for people. Well, except Chris. When the guy passed him, Toby saw a swastika on his arm.  
Hopefully he'd been here to see Ronnie. Chris had really tried all those last months. He'd been there for him  
through his rehab. He got himself a legal job. He hopefully wouldn't fuck this up now.  
"Hey babe!" he heard Chris' voice from the kitchen.  
"I brought some take-away," Toby said, not able to keep the tension out of his voice. He held up the bag.  
"Is... err, Ronnie there?"  
"Nah, don't worry. He's out with some friends."  
For the first time in his life Toby would have wished for him to be there. He needed to get it over with.  
"Who was this guy who just left?" he asked innocently.  
Chris shot him a blank look, then he seemed to remember.  
"Ah, him. That's a colleague from work."  
Many people would have been fooled by his nonchalance, his seemingly helpful attitude. But Toby had spent too much  
time with him, had gotten to know him too deeply. He could look through his playing. He wondered why it was that  
lying came to Chris this easy. Well, he was a lawyer, so he knew a good deal about lying too.  
"No he's not." The bitter truth. Served cold.  
"I don't know what you're talking about. This whole paranoia..."  
"Don't!" Toby interrupted him, "Don't even try. If we were in court I'd rip you apart." Toby didn't know what pissed  
him off more. The fact that Chris had broken their rules, or that lying to HIM, came to Chris this easy.  
Chris sighed, rubbing his head.  
"Okay. He's an old friend. He needs a favor."  
"Do me a favor and go fuck yourself!" Alright, that wasn't productive.  
"This is important, Toby. I owe him big time." his voice sounded almost pleading.  
"No excuses, we said. I've been sticking to it. Whatever have you been meddling, that you could owe a fucking Nazi?"  
"This guy belongs to the guy from Lardner I told you about. Toby, this is nothing I can say no to."  
"What do you mean in Lardner?... You... you don't mean that rapist-pig?!"  
Chris just nodded.  
"What could you possibly owe him?!" Toby nearly screamed with indignation and disbelief.  
"He protected me there. Now I have to help him out, that's the way it is."  
"Protected you?! Do you even listen to yourself?! What did he protect you from? Getting raped?!"  
"You don't understand how it is. You've never been to jail." Chris answered stubbornly.  
"I understand that if someone rapes another person it's a crime."  
"It wasn't rape."  
"Are you going to tell me to my face that you wanted it, that if you'd had had the choice you would have done it  
anyway?"  
Chris' silence and dropped gaze were answer enough.  
"You weren't able to say no to him the last time, but you're going to say no to him this time. This guy is not going  
to fuck your life up once more. Only over my dead body."  
"That might very well happen." Chris said barely audible.  
"You're scared of him." Toby said it without any mockery.  
"You should be too."  
"I'm a lawyer, I deal with criminals everyday."  
"When we first met you got robbed by me."  
Chris must be very desperate to bring that up.  
"I've changed. So have you. This guy is not getting as much as a hair of you. You maybe think I'm a useless, pampered,  
rich kid. But we useless, pampered, rich kids tend to get along very well in life."

***********************

The guy was a lot older than them, maybe forty. He had short blond hair with a receding hairline.  
He looked intimidating, sure of himself and mean. His facial expression reminded Toby of the bullies  
in school. The mixture of superiority and genuine liking for hurting people.  
This guy was used to getting his way.  
"Why Chris, I've heard you don't want to help us any longer. But I'm sure there was a mistake. I'm sure  
you would never disappoint me." Schillinger grinned at Chris menacingly.  
Chris gritted his teeth. He had known Schillinger would show up sooner or later. But he hadn't expected  
to have Toby with him at the time. It didn't matter what they did to him, he was scum, just like them.  
But Toby mustn't get hurt.  
While he was still panicky weighting options, Toby took action.  
"Mr. Schillinger, I strongly advice you to stay away from my client from now on."  
"Oh, your little boy-toy can talk. Seemed you enjoyed what we did together a lot more than I thought, Chris."  
Toby made a step forwards and snapped his fingers. He didn't know were he got the guts to do that, after a life  
of backing down to strongers. But he knew one thing. He had to protect Chris now.  
"You're talking to me. Not him." Fear and reason were emotions of the past. Now all Toby felt inside was burning  
hate.  
"Chris, you surely don't want your piece of rich-boy ass damaged."  
"No, of course not. I'm still in. The job is as good as done."  
"That's what I thought."  
"There's only one little matter left." Toby interjected with an icy voice.  
"You're starting to get on my nerves, boy."  
"I'm not just a boy." Toby smiled at Schillinger brightly, "I'm also a lawyer and as you mentioned, rich. So I did  
a little digging into your casefiles. And guess what, you're still on parole. I guess you don't want to go back to  
jail at a time like this. Leaving your little children at home without their daddy. And at least three of your little  
friends here are on parole too. So let's assume that some overly active police-officers were following your every move  
and they'd find something." He looked at Schillinger, faking a surprised look with big, innocent eyes. "Maybe I should  
mention that my father golfs with the Chief of Police and one of my uncles is a judge. So, if something were to happen  
to me or Chris... Aw, I think we understand each other." He shot Schillinger a wide, condescending grin, containing all  
the contempt he felt for him.  
"You just made a serious mistake, boy." Schillinger smiled a Toby in a way that made his skin crawl.  
Nevertheless Toby held his stare. For once Chris wasn't the stronger. Toby had never before seen him genuinely scared.  
He tried to hide it, but to Toby it showed. The last time no one had been there to protect Chris. But this time Toby would  
be there. And damn, he would be there to the end.  
Schillinger finally dropped his gaze and turned to leave with his sidekicks in tow. Toby remained a while longer frozen in  
his best I'm-a-tough-kick-ass-lawyer pose, before he let out a long breath and let the tension move out of his limbs. He  
turned around to Chris. Subconsciously he'd moved in front of him. Chris was staring at him, eyes wide. Toby raised his eyebrows  
questioningly, suddenly feeling insecure.  
Finally Chris said something. "This will probably get us both killed... but, damn, that was also the coolest thing I've ever  
seen in my life."  
"I think I need a drink." Toby felt nauseous.  
"I have a better idea."  
With that Chris pulled him inside an alley.  
~Declaring war to a gangster boss, public sex..Not bad Toby~ That were his last coherent thoughts until Chris let go of  
him again.

*******************************

"Chris, have you ever thought about going to college?"  
"Honestly? No."  
"Why?"  
"Come on, Toby. Seriously, it wasn't really an option."  
"How about now?"  
Chris took a deep breath, and made a show of loosening his shoulder muscles. He gave him his best  
I'm-really-trying-to-humour-you-Toby look.  
"Is this the next part of your little bring-Anakin-back-to-the-good-side agenda?"  
"Take it serious!"  
"I take you serious."  
"Yeah, me. But not you."  
"Toby..." Chris rolled his eyes.  
"Why?"  
"Why what?"  
"Why should you not be able to get a college-degree?"  
"Look, Toby. I'm a conman..."  
"A charming sociopath, extremely cunning and adept at manipulation."  
"What?" Chris looked at him bewildered.  
"That's what it says in your file."  
"So...?"  
"Do you know what's generally not a trait of sociopaths?"  
"I don't know." Chris shrugged, both puzzled and annoyed. "Kindness of the heart?"  
"They're generally not dumb." Toby answered in a deadpan voice. "There is absolutely no reason  
for you to not be able to manage college. Except of course your low self-esteem."  
"I don't have low self-esteem! You're the one who hates himself."  
Toby didn't take the bait. This time it was his game not Chris'.  
"Then what stops you?"  
"It's not like I have the money."  
"I have."  
"Okay, congratulations."  
"No dumbass, I mean I'm going to pay for you. My dad was always going on about me being able to afford  
college for my kids later. Well, at least, I'm able to afford college for my boyfriend." Toby shrugged  
with a smile.  
"No fucking way." Chris snorted, arms crossed defensive and offensively at the same time.  
"Why, because it makes you less of a man? Because I'm just your bitch? Or maybe because you will feel  
even more insecure with the shift in power?" Toby hadn't been sure before which one was true, but now  
he'd seen that he'd hit home. Toby's features softened. "Do you see me bitching all the time because  
you're much hotter and cooler than me?"  
Now Chris looked really taken aback.  
"I'm not..." he stopped mid-sentence, looking confused and then started laughing. "You hide the bossy side  
and play the sweet, innocent card until the guy is hooked, right?" Chris still chuckled.  
"Couldn't you tell by the trail of broken hearts I leave behind?"  
"Alright, it's your money. But no whining if things don't turn out your way."  
"Don't worry, if you fuck up you can still be my trophy wife."

*******************************

"Leave it, Toby." Chris urged exasperated, "They turned down my application. And it's not like I can blame  
them."  
"There is absolutely no law, justifying students not being accepted on the basis of a criminal record."  
"Why can't you just leave it? I've never expected them to take me anyway."  
"It's not like you, not to want the best of everything. Since when have you gotten so demure?" Toby challenged,  
arms crossed.  
"So what are you going to do, sue them?" Chris asked, not being serious.  
"Exactly."

After a conversation of which, Chris was pretty sure, he and the dean hadn't understood even half of it, they'd  
left the office and Chris felt drained. He felt like he'd been robbed of years of his life, listening to Toby  
naming paragraph after paragraph, arguing with the dean, who seemed to be the archetype of conservative and  
narrow-minded. Chris had to chuckle, despite his exhaustion, when he remembered Toby asking the dean, if he was  
maybe discriminating them because of them being gay. That would have been a moment to capture for posterity.  
He made sure to groan like an old house, when he made his way down the stairs, to show Toby how much he'd suffered  
through this. He should have known that someone as bull-headed as Toby would be stopped by nothing, to go through  
with this, no matter how futile. He looked down at his newly-printed students-id, with a smile. Well, turned out it  
hadn't been that futile after all.  
He shot Toby a wry grin.  
"You know you can't sue your way out of everything, right?"  
"I can try." Toby shot back, with a grin.

*******************************  
Chapter 6. OZ  
*******************************

"Hey, where the fuck are you, Cyril. I'm waiting."  
"Sorry, Ryan. I can't come tonight. I'm meeting Toby later."  
"You're heartless, leaving your brother like this."  
"Don't fret. Take one of the boys with you."  
"Alright. You don't know what you're missing out on. It's a funeral, there's going to be a buffet."  
"And your ex, right? Don't do something stupid. You can tell me all about it tomorrow. I gotta go now."

*******************************  
TWO YEARS LATER

Eight months after the riot everyone was finally back in Emerald City. It was strange to see those  
plexi-glass pods again. After all the time in Unit B.  
Toby and Said had been in deep discussion all morning.  
"We have to do something about that."  
"I can make a few calls to some friends of mine at the press."  
"Publicity would certainly help."  
"I'll make the calls immediately."  
Said got up and left. Toby got up as well and left Said's pod, walking down the stairs and along the  
line of pods. Most of the prisoners were sitting in front of the TV watching "Miss Sally".  
Toby watched his surroundings warily. He'd learned fast, that he was treading dangerous territory  
and that the COs could offer very little protection, when you were in there.  
Ryan was walking over to him.  
"Hey Toby."  
"Ryan."  
"So you looked into my parole?"  
"Yeah, but I told you before, no chance there."  
"Shit, thanks anyway."  
He had to hurry now, Sister Pete had expected him five minutes ago. Diane Whittlesey took him to her  
office.  
"Sister"  
"Tobias. It's good to see you. Come in, come in." She looked busy as always, but smiled at him warmly,  
"How are you, Tobias?"  
"Good."  
"How are things with Chris?"  
"Well, you know how he is. We both blow up easy... but I love him, so what can you do?" He shrugged,  
smiling.  
"I'm glad you made up. After our talk last week I was worried."  
"We know how to wind each other up. But you needed my help?"  
"Oh, right. Would you look at these files."  
"Sure."

After he was finished at Sister Pete's office, he went back to Emerald City. He was looking for  
Said, but could see him nowhere. Just then two guys right beside him drew shanks, getting at each  
other. Moments later the SORT team ran in. They were all edgy since the riot. They beat the two  
to the ground. Two others grabbed Toby, pulling him away. Toby nearly fell.  
After the situation was contained, the SORT-guy who'd grabbed him let finally go of him.  
Shit, he hated this, why'd he always have to get into the middle of such situations.  
"Are you okay, Mr. Beecher?" the SORT-guy asked, "Do you need to go to the infirmary?"  
"No, I'm fine."  
He and the SORT-team didn't get along too well. They couldn't understand why someone would try to  
help the prisoners. Especially because Toby's cases often involved actions of the SORT-team.  
Chris would be pissed if he told him about this. He was worried about him all the time. After Toby  
had gotten shanked once, he hadn't wanted him to go back there ever again. They'd argued over it for  
weeks. He'd only done consulting in seperate rooms for three months. But he found it important, that  
the prisoners had the chance to approach him and didn't have to make contact through McManus or Sister  
Pete.  
McManus came hurrying down to him.  
"Toby! You okay?"  
"Fine, relax. It was nothing. I've been just standing in the wrong spot at the wrong time, like usual."  
he tried to laugh it off, "I have to leave now anyway. So, see you on Thursday, Tim."  
"Don't forget to bring spare shoes."  
"Gee, not bowling again."  
He went out of Emerald City and picked some stuff up, that he'd left in the recreation room of the COs.  
He wished the CO who was at the entrance a good night and went to the parking lot.  
It rained. Shit, he'd forgotten his umbrella, again.  
On the drive home he went through the files he'd read today in his head, deciding which case  
he was going to work on next and estimating when he'd have time to come to OZ again, beside his actual  
work.  
He tried to get to work Pro Bono at least one day a week.  
One of the benefits of being a partner in major law firm was being able to delegate some work.  
He basically advised the prisoners about their rights in general and in individual cases he threatened  
or went through with a lawsuit against the prisons if the misstreatment of the prisoner didn't stop.  
Things like insufficient medical treatment, excessive violence from COs against prisoners, arbitrary  
punishment and abuse in general.  
Only two months ago he'd achieved that Ryan had gotten the better treatment for his cancer, after the  
prison only wanted to pay for the inferior one, because it was cheaper.  
But his most important goal was stopping and preventing rape between prisoners.  
It was the reason he had started this work. He represented prisoners who's situation wasn't taken serious  
enough by the staff and took care that they were sufficiently protected. He'd also already won several  
lawsuits against prisons were such conditions were simply overlooked.  
Chris always told him he didn't have to go through all this trouble because of him. But Toby could see that  
Chris was happy about him doing this work, helping people where no one had helped Chris back then.  
At the beginning he'd worked a lot at Lardner, for the obvious reasons. But lately he'd started working a  
lot at OZ. Primarily because it was just closer. But now that the O'Reily's and Dino had gotten their asses  
sent there, that was of course another strong reason. Also, there was a lot going amiss there, like in any  
prison the prisoners needed someone to stand up for them. Through meeting Chris and the O'Reily brothers his  
perspective on prisoners had changed a lot. They weren't just meaningless people being stuffed away, eating  
up taxpayer's money. They were people who maybe made a few or a lot of wrong decisions, but they weren't  
categorical bad. And there were several human rights no one deserved being deprived off.  
After working there a while he was getting along really well with the staff. Especially Sister Peter Marie,  
the psychotherapist there and Tim McManus, the Manager of Emerald City. While most of the COs and managers of  
the other units thought he was just trouble, starting up lawsuits in favor of the prisoners, Tim actually shared  
his view to rehabilitate the inmates and not just store them. Nevertheless they argued a lot, but at the end of  
the week, they could laugh about it most of the times.  
It was probably a good thing he hadn't shared the extend of his friendship with the O'Reily's and Dino Ortolani.  
He wasn't sure Tim would have been able to deal with that so well.

*******************************

He was on his way to pay Cyril a visit before he went home, when Ryan and Dino were dragged past him, kicking and  
screaming (though mostly at each other), with several COs barely able to hold them down.  
Cyril stood at the side watching, with detached amusement.  
"They broke up again?" Toby asked (more or less rhetorically).  
Cyril nodded with a content smile, "They're both going to the hole for a week. It's going to be so peaceful now."  
Toby was flabbergasted everytime anew, for all the time he'd known them. Justified, as he thought, given the fact  
that Ryan had managed to get sent to the same prison as Dino and even more amazing to get transferred to the same  
unit as Dino. Especially since he knew that it was almost impossible to get transferred to Em City from Gen Pop.  
That was one hell of a lot of trouble to go through just to break up.  
He'd always wondered what had kept those two together for the past 15 years. It was obviously stronger than reason.  
But who was he to throw stones.

*******************************

When he got home, Chris was already back from work. He was sitting in the living room watching TV.  
"Hey," he called from the door. Chris turned around.  
"You're late." he said, making a face.  
"Oh come on, don't give me that sick puppy look. You're a big boy, you can be left alone for a few minutes." Toby  
dropped onto the couch beside him, draping his legs, over Chris'. He tried to give him a kiss, but Chris was still  
sulking.  
"You spend an awful lot of time there." he said, pushing the play button on the remote, acting like the tv show was  
taking all his attention.  
Toby leaned in, nibbling on his throat. No reaction. He let his hand wander under Chris' shirt. No reaction. He  
straddled Chris, ripped the remote out of his hand, and whacked him over the head with it.  
"Hey!" Chris was rubbing his head, "Is that your idea of making up?!"  
"Stop whining." He kissed him. "How could a little pussy-ass bitch like me hurt anyone?"  
Chris returned the kiss. "You're so not cute today."

*******************************

"Morning Mister Beecher." The CO at the entrance greeted Toby, when he entered OZ on Monday  
morning.  
"Morning Mineo."  
He had another case in Emerald City today.  
"Hey Tim." Toby went into McManus' office.  
"You're up early, Toby. Finished your case in Unit B, then?"  
"Yeah. Sister Pete called me and said there was a prisoner that had a problem he needed help with."  
"I wish the inmates would talk to me about their problems. I'm actually trying to help... but if at  
all they only open up to Sister Pete." Tim sighed.  
"You have to understand it, Tim, you're the unit manager. To them you're the enemy."  
"But I'm trying to be fair. Everyone gets a chance."  
"A chance is not always so easy to take for people who're only used to deceit."  
"Ah, I forgot you've got your very own con at home." Tim laughed. "As long as you're not going to plot  
about bringing down the government with Said again."  
"He just wants the basic rights of the inmates respected, like me. You two have so much prejudices  
about each other. If you would sit down and talk about it you would find a lot of similarities."  
"Yeah well, let's hope it never comes to that."

He went over to the Sister's office and knocked in case there was a patient in there.  
"Come in."  
"Morning, Sister Pete."  
She looked up from her files and smiled at him.  
"Ah, Tobias, it's good to see you, have a seat. Before I forget, Rossi says thanks. He gets that  
physiotherapy for his back now."  
"In the end the lawsuit and the resulting damages would have cost the prison more then the  
therapy, so of course they backed down. But let's not digress, what do you have for me today?"  
"There is a prisoner on death row, who's only getting an assigned counsel for his appeal. He'd  
like to discuss his options with you. And then there's a case which is  
of personal relevance for you." She gave him a grave look.  
"Vern Schillinger's son Andrew has been transfered to Emerald City. The young man has a serious  
drug problem. But he won't take any help. He went to group one time and it was a catastrophe.  
He started a fight with one of the other inmates and was sent to the hole. I can't reach him."  
"Can I talk to him?"  
"I had hoped you would. After all you have sucessfully battled your addiction and are settled  
firmly in society. I hope you can overlook the boys last name and try to help him."  
"I'll try my best." Toby smiled at her. In his head the smile became more of a sneer. He was so  
going to get him. After all his attempts to pay Schillinger back for what he'd done to Chris all  
those years ago, finally the perfect oportunity had arisen.

**************************

The weather was horrible again when he drove home from OZ. It was already pitch dark outside.  
Through the hail he was barely able to see the road.  
Toby was still completely absorbed by the things he learned today. His mind circling around Schillinger.  
This time he was going to fuck that piece of shit over for good.  
He would make sure he was going to pay for every, person he'd raped or hurt in any other way in his  
whole miserable life. He'd already tried to pull several schemes against him, together with Ryan. But  
until now every attempt had been unsucessful. Most of his cellmates, who were sexually abused by him,  
were too scared to talk to him, afraid that Schillinger would kill them, no matter how much Toby tried  
to convince them that they would get protection and that he would even try to have their sentence  
shortened if they only gave some evidence for a trial. But this time he would get Schillinger where  
he'd last expect it.  
Then he saw the girl on the road.

**************************

Toby had called Chris, to tell him that he was at the hospital. Finally the parents arrived. Toby got  
up and walked towards them.  
"Mr. and Mrs. Rockwell?"  
"Yes. Where is she? Where is my baby?" Mrs. Rockwell exclaimed. She'd been crying. Her husband  
was trying to calm her.  
"She is in her room. The doctor saw her a while ago. And she has to stay for the night. He said  
she has a concussion and her left leg is broken. But it is nothing serious."  
Toby handed Mr. Rockwell Kathy's cellphone on which he had called them earlier, to tell them  
about their daugther's accident. "By the way, I still have her bike in my trunk."  
"I will get it immediately."  
"No rush. You've just arrived. You should see your daugther first. I will wait meanwhile."  
"Thank you again, Mr. Beecher. For everything." Mr. Rockwell shook his hand.  
"Of course."  
When he'd found Kathy, she'd had an accident with her bicycle and had been lying unconscious  
on the road. At first he'd been unsure about moving her without a medic, but she'd woken up  
and started moving without difficulty. So he drove her to the hospital instead of waiting for an  
ambulance. While she was seeing the doctor, he'd called her parents.

"Hey. Everything alright?" Chris opened the door before Toby could turn the key. Toby looked up  
and smiled. It was about damn time he got to see him. The day had been far too long.  
"Yes, the girl is going to be okay. Her parents are now with her."  
"Good. That's good."  
Toby sank against Chris' chest. Chris' arms came around him immediately and pulled him into the  
flat.  
"This day was far too long." Toby gave Chris a sleepy smile and kissed him sloppily.  
"Trying to save the world everyday sure takes it's toll." Chris remarked, one eyebrow raised, but  
a smile tugging at his lips.  
"What have you been doing in the meantime, waiting for me?" Toby wiggled his brows at him. "Grading  
exams? Or working on the next groundbreaking essay to upturn the field of Sociology?"  
"Cooking." Chris said, looking extremely pleased with himself.  
"I love you." Toby exclaimed heartfelt, while his stomach rumbled.  
"I know you do."

****************************

Toby and Andrew were sitting in a private room in OZ, talking. Through the window Toby could  
see Schillinger walking by. Their eyes met. He flashed Schillinger a wide grin, before he turned his  
attention back to Andrew. "It's great how successful you're participating in group therapy. I know it's  
hard, but you just have to keep pushing. Remember it's a new person, you want to become."

****************************

"Hey, how are you guys?" Toby asked carefully, casting a hopefully not too obvious look at Ryan's black eye.  
"Fine, why?"  
"Oh, just, you seemed to have fight the other day."  
"A fight? Well, maybe you could call it that. But you should have seen us last year, after I had Nino murdered.  
That was a fight."  
Dino walked past them. "Love you, babe."  
"Love you too."

****************************

Toby looked at Schillinger long and hard. "Yes, I wanted to fuck you over. That's no secret, at least not  
between the two of us. But look at it that way. Your boy is off the drugs now. And, maybe, in your heart,  
someplace, you can see the good in that. I know I can. And I'm sure as hell going to continue to try and  
bring you to justice. Because I know you won't stop. And I won't either."

*****************************  
Chapter 7: Prag  
*****************************

"Are you kidding me?!" Toby asked McManus incredulous, still looking at the slender, elfin looking  
boy with shoulder-length blond hair, who couldn't have been much older than 19.  
"Why don't you just give him a 'free-gangbang'-tag?!"  
"It's not my decision, Toby. I'm not running Unit B. He was moved into a pod with Schillinger, and  
there's nothing I can do about it. I'm already getting enough heat, I don't need anymore trouble with  
my colleagues."  
"So you're just throwing him to the wolves? Why can't you put him into Em City?"  
"Where full." McManus shrugged helplessly.  
"I'm going to get this bastard. I have to talk to the boy. I he's willing to testify against Schillinger.."  
"Who was ever willing to testify against him?"

*****************************

"What happened, Tim?"  
McManus looked pretty out of sorts himself.  
"The boy..." McManus was shaking his head in disbelief, "He fought back."  
"Oh God. He's not dead is he?"  
"No, he's not. He... he... castrated Schillinger."  
"Excuse me?"  
"You heard right." A snort escaped McManus mouth. He tried to put on a straight face again.  
"What the fuck. What the fuck?!"  
McManus just stood there, shaking his head. "I hadn't even read his file," he said as if to himself. "He wasn't  
in my Unit after all."  
"What's he in for then?"  
"Intentional manslaughter. Four of his fellow-students at college."  
"Four?! How?"  
"...He stabbed three and broke one's neck..."

*****************************

Toby finished early that day. He was going to surprise Chris between lectures and take him out to a shitty  
canteen lunch.  
Well, no matter how shitty it was. It was still three times better than what Toby had been eating here at OZ  
over the time. He completely understood why Whittlesey brought herself homemade sandwiches.  
As he made his way to the gate, the background noise was a familiar mix between Miss Sally and Dino and Ryan  
shouting obscenities at each other. Whether they were fighting or actually declaring their affection for each  
other was hard to tell.  
It was amazing how accostumed he'd become to the cacophony of noises that was OZ. And he wasn't going to lie,  
it had scared the shit out of him the first few times he'd been here. And now he moved around like he was actually  
one of them.  
But, fuck, was he glad to get home. And, hell, maybe later he was going to call his dad and invite his parents  
over for the weekend. Maybe Chris would even do the barbecue his dad loved so much.


End file.
